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Feeling Human Again

Posted Jan 31 2011 9:53pm
I didn't sleep last night. I've been off all pain meds for several days now but still taking the sleeping pills the doctor gave me but last night I decided to not take any since it was late and I had to get up with the kids this morning. What a mistake that was, I ended up awake all night long. Finally took a pill at 7am after getting the kids up and then slept till 2:30pm. I definitely need to work on getting the sleep worked out.

Today there was a knock at the door, someone sent me an edible arrangement, boy how cool they are. I had never seen one in real life just on TV. Came in a little metal basket and boy was all the fruit yummy. The kids and I just ate it up. It was from one of my TOPS lady. She's our newest member, about a year maybe, and she's always sending everyone cards with thoughtful notes insides. It was just so kind of her. I gave her a call tonight to thank her and we talked awhile. She's a sweet lady.

This weekend was actually pretty good. Mike, his mom and the kids all went out for the afternoon and I was left home alone. It was nice just sitting around in the quiet by myself for a little while. His mom was also a sweetheart and actually shaved my legs and put lotion on them for me. I felt like I was at some kind of spa lol. It really just made me feel so much better not feeling like a gorilla lol.

Sunday Mike drove his mom to the airport in the morning and we just lounged around all day. Mike made us pork chops for dinner and boy were they good. It was just a nice quiet day.

Mike also pulled one of my drains out last night . Boy what a weird feeling that was. When the doctor had pulled the first drain I was on pain meds and I was pretty numb so I didn't really feel it. But I could feel how it pulled through my body (about 6 inches in), so creepy feeling. But it didn't hurt and I was just so happy it came out ok and I'm down to just one drain left.

Tonight I finally decided to take my best friend's (a nurse) advice and go ahead and shower. I just wrapped a piece of plastic around where my drain comes out, taped it all up and went for it. Oh my goodness how terrific it felt to get clean after 2 whole weeks of sponge baths. After my shower I just laid in bed without my compression suit for a bit, how great that felt too. I just feel human again.

Last night I did way to much thinking while I was awake. What I realize is that part of me has become someone I'm not liking very much. I could blame it on the surgery but it started before then. What it makes me realize though is I want to be a good person and my outside doesn't need to be anything different than it is to make me the person I want to be and a person I like.

Till next time...
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