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Feeling Good > Feeling Bad

Posted Sep 06 2011 8:20pm

Bonjour mes amis les blogs,

As per my blog title, I want to talk about how feeling good is better than feeling bad. Obvious, right? Of course feeling good is better than feeling bad, and I don’t want to speak for everyone, but a lot of people don’t feel good, a lot. Whether that’s feeling unwell emotionally, physically or mentally. I’m guilty of not feeling well a lot. And it sucks. And I’m changing all that, here’s how:

I used to struggle with my emotions. I remember talking about them being all out of whack on this blog (what seems like years ago). I remember thinking that I must have had some kind of chemical imbalance. It couldn’t be normal to feel such great highs and then such low lows. But, why not? The human brain is amazing, capable of many things. Now, I accept them. I accept all my emotions. If I feel like crying I don’t dig my fingernails into my palms, squeeze my eyes shut and try to stop it anymore, I just cry. If I’m sad I’ll allow myself to be sad for a bit. Emotions are what make us human so I’m choosing to embrace mine instead of being embarrassed by them.

Positive mental attitude is a psychological term which describes a mental phenomenon in which the central idea is that one can increase achievement through optimistic thought processes. PMA implies that one has a vision of good natured change in one's mind; it employs a state of mind that continues to seek, find and execute ways to win, or find a desirable outcome, regardless of the circumstances. It rejects negativity, defeatism and hopelessness. Part of the process of achieving PMA employs motivating "self talk" and deliberate goal-directed thinking. – via Wikipedia.

Constant negative thoughts are toxic. I was getting sick of always being angry and negative about things, and really, what for? I’m not saying that I’m an all positive thinking, guru like person on some celestial level. I’m just trying to be better. I’m also trying to say daily affirmations again, I find they help and ward off ‘self hate speak’.

Physically, well, that’s been a slower process. I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I can’t eat fatty and oily foods as much as I once could/would. My gallbladder does not like it very much. When I was first diagnosed with gallcannons stones I didn’t change my diet all that much. After many painful attacks I finally came to terms with it. Foods that I once loved and made a weekly feature are now a monthly feature (or less). After Dr.Bernstein I swore I would never demonize a food group or deprive myself again. Because of that I only eat what I truly enjoy, a real indulgence.Cheap fundraising chocolate has been replaced with Lindt, Godiva or Cadbury. McDonalds just doesn’t compare to a 5 Guys burger. I’m learning to budget and allocate my points, maximizing every last point.

When my family and I went to The Ex there was TONS of food to be had. Deep fried twinkies, Mars bars, brownies, Cherry Cola, butter, mac and cheese. Donut burgers, a cheeseburger between two grilled cheese sandwiches, a sausage and egg poutine. Crazy stuff. I decided I really wanted a donut burger. Was it the most responsible of dinners? No. Had I been thinking of it since I heard about it in July? Yes. I had all my 35 weekly points and I had only used 6 points from that day. So I ate it. And tracked it. And moved on. Did I have anything else? No. I was quite content with what I ate and I considered that my indulgence. This may not seem like a big deal to you, but the ‘old’ me would have used that day (or weekend) to have a junk food marathon.

I’m trying my very hardest to not hate the reflection I see when I walk by a mirror.  I leave the house feeling fabulous, part of this is because I see myself smaller in my mind. I’ll be walking around the mall when, bam, I see myself in a window reflection (looking not so fabulous and gargantuan). That’s a tough pill to swallow. But it’s okay. I’m changing that. I just need to keep thinking positively and continuing to motivate myself.

I used to talk about bottling motivation. It’s a great feeling. Unfortunately for me, it’s gone as soon as it comes, like a wisp of smoke. Motivation feels as great as actually losing the weight does. Maybe that’s the key, you need to keep working at either being motivated or finding it. Why not keep that feeling alive? I’d much rather feel motivated and excited about losing weight than feeling like a failure and then eat a row of chocolate chip too ‘make myself feel better’.

I plan on keeping at it. Everything. Being positive, being mindful and present and being motivated.

P.S Thank you all for your kind comments, I appreciate every one.
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