Today I'm feeling calm, maybe it's just me wanting the "new pill" to be all magic for me and take away all my "out of sort" emotions lol. For whatever reason I'm just glad to be feeling this way. I have work to do today too which feels good. It's making me have a focus rather than it on myself.
Yesterday wasn't the best day but I made it through with not to much damage. I didn't talk about it yesterday but I have talked about my doctor in the past. She's just strange with me, I swear she treats me like I'm anorexic or something which is just bizzare to me since I still have at least an extra 15 lbs on my body. She told me maybe I just needed to eat more but when I told her I eat about 2000 calories a day on average she said "oh ok I won't recommend eating more then". She also evidently doesn't have a clue about the mental aspect of obesity even though she is obese herself. Maybe being a different nationality things just aren't thought of the same way. Regardless I was grateful she didn't give me a hard time about the anti-depressant and tried to give actual advice about the medication.
From what I've looked up online and also from what she said I'm not really sure why Dr. N suggested this particular anti-depressant. It isn't really one used for obsessing/worrying, anxiety and it could cause insomnia which I of course don't need made worse. But I'm going to give it time and see how it goes. I do know that I took this (Welbutrin) like 8 or so years ago and I stopped taking it because it seemed to make me have angry outbursts. When I read online yesterday it said the #1 side effect was agitation. But like I said I'm going to give it a go and see how it is. So far today I'm feeling pretty good so that's a good sign. I go back to the doctor in 3 weeks so she can see how I'm doing.
Last night Mike and I went to a different TOPS meeting than my own to do my area captain program. It's always nice visting the other chapters in my area I wish I could fit it in more often than just once a year. I was suppose to go to another one today and then another tonight but I had to reschedule the one today because of the owner being here today. Never a good sign it seems when the owner comes to visit but I'm hoping this time will be different lol. Guess we will see soon enough since I think he's here only through today.
My eating was not good yesterday. I'm still tracking my food on myfitnesspal so at least I know how I'm doing. Today should be a much better day since I'm not having all that anxiety I was having yesterday. It seemed to come on me when the owner showed up unexpected, he just makes me nervous lol. I didn't get in any exercise yesterday either which didn't help.
This morning I packed up my gym clothes so after the meeting up the road tonight I will stop at the gym on my way home for a workout :) I'm looking forward to it. Feels like lately exercise has been the one thing to make me feel myself :) I'm grateful for that.
Thanks for all the nice comments, I really do appreciate all you guys even though I haven't been a very good blogger friend myself lately. I hope to get back to blogging more because it really does help me.