Ok friends. This is it. I wanted to write today about stuff and be honest in the process. I wanted to give you all the heads up that you probably will not see me so much on here in the next little while.
I always knew that I was an emotional eater like many people. When I was angry I would eat..when I was sad..i would eat..when I was excited I would eat...food was all about comfort and I think it always will be. I am really trying to fight to stay ahead these days, while dealing with circumstances that just wont go away.
Truthfully though, lately I have been dealing with alot. Things I just cannot really write openly about, but believe me, emotionally I have been really trying to deal with getting through all of it and taking a beating because of it. So many thoughts in my head, so much cloudiness, so much that I have been tolerating just to tolerate which in turn has really been eating at me.
I wont lie, I am scared as hell. I never want to go back to where I was but yet, I just feel so alone lately in life. I wish I had some kind of guidance you know. Some kind of positive influence that I am lacking these days.
I am not sure whats ahead for me, but I am just hoping to somehow come out of the situation strong and able to in the end somehow have an ending thats positiive and healthy.
I have been having many headaches lately, I guess you can say that the pressure from my thinking of different things has now sort of taken a toll on me. But there is no way that I can be that strong person on the outside if on the inside I am just a mess.
Anyways I dont want to get all into it right now because just writing about makes my heart jump, and I get teary eyed and get all thinking about it and get all weird physically. All I know is I cannot go on like this. I need to fix things.
My only reason for writing this is because I wanted to explain it to you people so if you dont see me on here, I am just trying to deal with things going on around me that I must deal with.