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Don't say I'm chubby.

Posted Jun 10 2009 12:00am
Update! It's a miracle! I'm alive!

Hehehe... yeah, sorry for the crappy updating lately. I've got internet in my new place now so we should be all set.

Today I had Zumba for the first time in a few weeks and it was AWESOME. I missed it. I love it. I bought some DVD's tonight so I can do Zumba on non Zumba class days. So, anyways... I showed up a bit early and was chatting with my instructor while I stretched. She said, "So what classes do you teach?" HAHAHA! I laughed and said I didn't work at the gym or teach classes. She said, "Wow, I thought you did. You definitely should!" Now, this is obviously because I have a kick ass ridiculously goofy personality in class, and NOT because of my stamina or physical ability. Because I'd have to have a slight water break in the middle of my hour Zumba class. Oh, and I should do it for another six months with some dance classes on top of it. BUT it made me feel really good. I'm finally to the point where she'll tell people in the class to follow me for the moves if she grabs water or adjusts the volume on the stereo. It's a lot more fun with a little bit of pride attached to it. :)

Okay, so I'm wondering something. Today I was thinking about how much it sucks when someone mentions my weight. Whether I hear "you're losing weight" or "Hey, tubby. Ha-ha, I'm just kidding," or whatever... it really makes me cringe. WHY is that? I have no problem talking about my weight (here on my blog) or to my boyfriend, or my Mom, or whatever. But whenever someone takes it upon themselves to comment on it, it just makes me nuts.

Not only do I feel crappy about myself when my weight is mentioned, I also feel pissed off that someone thinks they have any right to make any kind of comment on my fatness. Seriously. I never am in the supermarket and say to a chubby gal buying ice cream "Um, try the sorbet, it's fat free."

Then again, I have absolutely no problem telling my Mom how hot and skinny she looks in her size 8 or 10 jeans.

((sigh))-- I just hate that I've been at 207 forEVER, and just won't budge.

I will say that I haven't ((GAINED)) in the last few weeks. I have eaten way more sugar than I should be eating and my face breaks out every time. Yet, I went to Walgreens today and bought double stuff oreos (mostly for Dan) and some mint icecream for myself. Why? I have no idea. I'm literally yelling at myself "What is my fucking problem?" as I'm putting the ice cream in the basket. The lady at Walgreens asked three people in the line in front of me "Any M&M's or Snickers today?" She didn't ask me if I wanted either. I'm guessing she must have decided I didn't need to be offered junk food, as it was clear I already had enough of it.

Oh yeah, and I haven't done any running in 2 weeks. And I suck.

~J
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