Self confidence is a trait that most of us aspire to possess. Some people just seem to have “it” no matter what their circumstances, appearance, or socioeconomic situation. Growing up, I had a lot of self confidence. I was just sure I could conquer the world, and rushed ahead of myself trying to get things done! But like so many other things in my life, as my appearance changed, my confidence changed too.
It was almost a directly proportional relationship. Weight up = Self confidence down
I knew it was happening. I could almost feel myself stumbling around trying to find the “Old Diane.” It made me mad both at myself for gaining weight, and for not being able to seem to find my self confidence among the folds of fat. It was swallowed up.
There was a time where John and I had to go to an office party for his job. I begged and pleaded not to go, but it was one of those events where spouses really were expected to attend. And even after John told me I didn’t have to go, I knew that I needed to support him. So, after spending a couple of fruitless hours at the mall trying to find a size 28 dress that wasn’t totally awful, I gave up and made a “fancy jumper.” On the appointed day, the babysitter arrived on time, and we left for the party. It was held in the ballroom of a hotel, and the event was really well done.
I felt so out of place. Kinda like those commercials where the couple is going to a party and the husband tells the wife, “It’s casual dress.” Yet when they get to the party the hostess answers the door in a cocktail gown. That’s how I felt in my “fancy jumper” among all the cocktailed dressed women. I just wanted to go sit in the bathroom for the whole evening.
Once we made the obglitarory rounds, I took up a post standing at the very back of the room. A classic wallflower. My sweet husband stood by me, trying to get me to join in, but I was adamant that I wasn’t moving. When we finally got to leave, I was so stressed I made John swing through Wendy’s and get me a large Frosty. I finished it off even before we got all the way home.
I don’t share this store to elicit sympathy, because I realize that the choices I made were mine alone. I share this story to encourage you to hold your head up high no matter what your weight, and no matter how you feel about your appearance.
Sometimes, working on your self confidence is as important as working on your food choices. The two really can work together as best friends. It was harder for me to lose weight with such low self esteem. If I had managed to appreciate myself for the good qualities I possessed perhaps the weight loss would have been easier.
What are your thoughts on self confidence and weight loss success? Diane