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Posted Jun 24 2010 9:12am
As we all are well aware, being overweight "robs you" of what you can truely have and achieve in life. It takes away that RIGHT to do, and be anything you want because you cannot go above and beyond when it controls you in the many ways it does, and therefore in the end holds you back. Its the FAT that we carry that will make decisions for us on what we can/cannot do and what we will/will not do. I know this because I have experienced both sides of the story now.

I have lived with being considered obese for most of my life, and I also know the difference when not, like when I lived the short time of being in top shape and could wear a size 7. I know there are many people out there, people who are in shape trying to get others to better themselves, but, can they truthfully say they lived the life. Majority... probably not. It is one thing for them to imagine what its like, and its another one to have actually gone through it and live it day after day.

For me when being overweight/obese it affects me in so many ways. Too many to list actually! A few off the top of my head are things like...


-Instead of having the self confidence to go after ANY job or ANYTHING you really want in life (or DO what you really want to do), being overweight/obese brings you down a level no matter what anyone says! Even if you are trying to mask it, its there! From the time you wake up in the morning until the time you go to bed, this demon that we bring along with us throughout the day affects us on many levels MORE then we might even THINK! We are just so used to dealing with all the negative thoughts and actions that come along with being physically and emotionally FAT , that as time goes on we wont even notice how it truely holds us back in life anymore because its then become the norm. We just sadly accept it as a fact of our personal lives. (but what is sad is that we choose it. We choose to allow it to win us over. we choose to not do anything about it. We choose to just give up) Its different if its something we have no control over, but if we really WANT, we have every bit of control over this! 

 The circumstances that we encounter throughout the day, you would be surprised at how they all add up and how they bring us down without even realizing sometimes! They continue to chip away at us, and slowly taking away any HOPE of fighting back to even BE the better person we WANT to BE! Leaving us feeling stuck, sad, feeling defeated and also feeling weak like we just are not strong enough to change. But wait...we ARE strong enough. Its about reversing what we once thought, changing our thoughts on life, and food.

But I know its hard when the negative thinking and thoughts are there from the very moment we wake up each morning until we go to bed at night.  (that is the underlying source the really bringing us down which holds us back in succeeding)


Like in the morning you find yourself looking in the mirror at your reflection, wishing you could fit into a smaller size or that your face wasnt so fat. You are looking in the mirror naked, and HATE your legs, stomach or whatever problem areas you have knowing you have to change but where to start?  You might even deal with these other negative thoughts like when you cannot fit properly in a chair (reminding you of exactly where you are as far as being overweight), or you just find you have gained and so you notice you cannot sit as comfortable as you used to. Or you notice you cannot cross your legs as nicely or as easily like you once could. You are almost FORCING it to cross, and yet it just doesnt sit right, not looking at all natural and so you just drop it. LOL. Isnt this so true though for alot of women?
There is just something so feminine to be able to do that!

 So for me I cannot help but observe at times and compare things like this (of course in a secretly and discreet way)
This is how it goes... I will look at myself and my size of legs (huge) always hated my legs and then right after while hoping to not get noticed then glance over at the other women who CAN do it in the room. This isnt good. LOL What a disgrace(seeing myself shaking my head in my imagination)..LOL
gawd arent we sneaky us women though eh ?

You carry even MORE negative thoughts when perhaps you are out shopping for clothes and you cannot find the size you need or not having a variety of nice clothes, so you leave the store feeling sad, depressed, angry at yourself and the world. Perhaps YOU carry it when you are wearing shorts in the hot summer while most of the time feeling parinoid the whole time that people are looking at your fat legs and saying things. Either that or you decide NOT to wear them like I did for years..and just was miserably hot and sticky and felt like crap too..Either way its terrible. Nothing positive about that.

(these are just some of my own examples) I am sure you can come up with many more personal ones you can think of that you go through that I may not have mentioned.

 So therefore if your dealing with situations like that on a daily basis, I dont care how GOOD you might want to THINK you are, how can you truthfully say that you can confidently go after anything in life and get anything the way you would if you actually were on top of the world and healthy without carrying those negative extra thoughts around all the time? Really? I mean we have enough to deal with in life, things that perhaps we CANNOT change, so why do we allow ourselves to continue to suffer like this. Its a choice. We choose to suffer. No one is making us. We have the option of changing. Free will people! So why do we find ourselves backtracking? Why do we get lazy after a while? Do we just forget what it feels like to be on top of the world? I think once we get that mental side understood, and why we do the things we do, pin point what makes us weak which in turn makes us revert to our old negative ways, we might actually figure that out! Each person is different.

 Its not to say that there are no confident fat people out there. I am sure there are some. But for those people, imagine if you felt better about yourself physically because you have it in you to take control and what you would be able to really achieve! Probably some really unimaginable things!

 When you are at your best, you will physically, mentally/emotionally feel BETTER all around! Thats the bottom line! And so those positive energies and feelings you feel towards yourself are then given off to the people around you! There is not that negative thinking about oneself there anymore, that you might have carried before... BELIEVE ME..... it shows! So when you are past that, the skies the limit really!

Like I will give you a few examples from my own life when at my best/ comparing it to when I am not. 

When I got backstage for my favorite group "hedley".
I know I have told you all this story before but its a prime example! I would have NEVER been able to do what I did, and get what I wanted if I wasnt where I was at that moment in time. BELIEVE ME!

 This only happened because I was so confident in myself and happy. Nothing could stop me. Its this feeling I cannot even really explain unless you have felt it.
And being at the time I always wanted the change to go backstage because they were my favorite group that i listened to over and over again...well I just wasnt leaving until I got the chance! I would not accept anything less!

And guess what...somehow I ended up there! There is NO WAY I would have been able to get into the lead singers FACE and pretty much DEMAND what I wanted. LOL (when I look back I laugh cause it was a little scary) but ....bottom line..I GOT IT! You see friends what I mean. They felt this confidence I carried too (either that or scared shitless) lol (but i am sure if that was the case security would have showed me out)
But, do you  think I would have been able to do that as a fat women? NO WAY! I would stay in the back, right where I am comfortable and just be happy with having a book signed while the other more confident girls got backstage. Not this time around! LOL

And another time when I was at my best, I have never in my life danced on a speaker/or high box at club before. In all my years of partying, I always was just too self-concious so I would just play it safe, dance on the bottom ground floor, probably closest to the wall away from the center of the dance floor or more center rather then outside where the people couldnt see me as much. Even though I did this, I always wondered to myself while watching the hot women on top...what it would be like to be on TOP! To carry that confidence and to not for once carry that worry of what people think, or what they would be saying about me when up there. To be completely worry free, and not even care and just genuinely have a great time less these negative thoughts!

But that one night, when I was out and feeling great...for the first time EVER I got up there..and boy did I dance! I was shakin my thing..I felt great..a drink in my hand....felt free just like a bird, experiencing something that I always wanted to experience...and felt like for the first time people were NOT looking at me cause I was fat..they were looking at me cause I was the one that was good looking! Because "I" was pretty! I was the one in great shape and had amazing arms and I was proud anyways no matter WHAT people there was nothing holding me back to stay on the floor anymore. You see.

 For the first time I felt free!! WE carry those kind of negative thoughts around with us so much that I finally had the chance to feel what most of those other confident women feel.  I was one of them even for just that one night! And it was AMAZING friends. So worth the dieting, eating better and workouts, SO WORTH IT. To feel that was like to feel ALIVE for the very first time!


You will likely feel many more aches/pains when overweight and obese then others normally would (especially feet and knees)
(keep in mind also that the older you get the more it will physically effect you)
Imagine if its tough on you now, how will it be when you are 60-70? Still carrying around this extra weight. I cant even imagine. My feet hurt now when I go past a certain point, wheelchair bound, cause of not taking personal responsibility for my own health and thanks. I would rather FIGHT to get there.
Its not anymore about looking "best" per say..or getting to an ideal weight for the wrong reasons. For me, I am 4 years and a few months away from turning 40! This scares me. To have myself being weighed down by weight issues(that I have the power to change)..I would rather not.
So this is why I am going to/have to get back! Not for others, not for me..but for myself and my own sanity.

*emotionally can hurt you much more then physical
In my experience each time we say we are going to do something, and affects somehow. Whether on the outside or inside. Each minute that goes by that we dont do anything about it and instead find us just accepting where we are at, its one more day/minute further from your goal that you know you really WANT. And this acceptance only encourages us to stay weak. This takes a toll as well on what we believe we can do. It spirals into many other areas in our life. If we are will do the same but in a much more beneficial way, ways that we cannot even imagine!

But other then the actual "weight" that we put on and carry from the lack of taking control, its the "beating up" of yourself that really hurts you in the end.
It takes you to a mental place that you start looking down on yourself, questioning yourself and its just not a great place to be. So being overweight and obese is NOT just a physical problem. And somehow we have to work on BOTH aspects before coming out a winner. I have yet to learn the other emotional and mental side of it. Slowly I am though.

...One other thing, last but not least the end result when not taking control
holds you back from going for what you WANT, or being what you want to be. So instead your just left with settling.


So these are just a few reasons and facts why I want to get back. I have let myself go long enough. If this has made you think about getting back as well, why dont you join me in this fight. WE can take on this challenge together.

There is always that idea I mentioned before in a previous post about you all even paying a one time fee for weight watchers points book etc..and then we can together meet and encourage each other as friends in a more personal atmosphere (for fre) to finally once and for all get to our goal we want to get to and be the women we were meant to be.
It really is the easiest way to diet if you are looking at something easy to understand for our busy lifestyles

Just something to consider. WE can even put a certain agreeable amount of money in the pot each time we meet that we can contribute and use as rewards for all of us!

If there is anyone out there that might be interested to join me on this challenge. Even if its just to watch what they eat rather then going full force with the gym etc...please feel free to email me in confidence where we can actually plan something.

Thanks for reading! I will be on soon again, and will be hopefully getting my mic and camera as well. I have a job to somehow get done..and some way I have to do it for myself, and if I dont, I will die trying:)
Either way this train is going full speed ahead!
Transformation series #2 is on its way. Hopefully the last one. I guess you can say that I am a sucker for punishment! God help me.
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