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Because People Will Hate You

Posted Dec 12 2012 2:10pm

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You know what is funny. I cannot remember the names of the two Biggest Loser contestants that wrote me a letter congratulating me on my journey. I do not remember the three doctors who told me that my weight loss was remarkable. I forget the name of the woman who wrote about me for CNN…..

Yet, I remember every comment that some woman from Duluth, OH named “Fattie Fatters” wrote about how I was narcissistic, how I was a poor writer and all I ever talked about was how I could not wipe my ass.

Male weight loss bloggers have a very short life expectancy online. They are extremely rare. A lot of them will blog right before they lose weight. Some will blog during their weight loss. Few will blog after.

Yet I have been here for five years. I refuse to be a blogging dinosaur. I try to utilize more than just my blog. I have been very active on Facebook and writing for other websites. Sometimes I forget why I blog in the first place…..so I can get my thoughts out.

When I first started blogging I was brash. I just lost some ridiculous amount of weight in a short time. I think I lost 60 pounds in less than two months. And the weight kept coming off. It was easy for me so that is what was written. I lost weight without surgery. You have to be all or nothing. Weight Watchers Core was the only way to lose a large amount of weight. These were my thoughts.

People either loved me or hated me. I would get a lot of beautiful letters from people and then I would get nasty ones. People do not realize that if you are condescending…..your point will never get across. No matter what. So I ignored a lot of it.

After I lost 221 pounds I started to gain muscle. My pictures were amazing and my confidence was high. My writing was getting better as well. I worked real hard to get my weight loss story out. By doing that and still having an “My weight loss way or the weight loss highway” mentality I got a lot of nasty emails and comments on my blog. Sure I got a lot of nice ones….but who remembers that? Well, we all should.

One of the hardest things for anyone to decipher is the difference between a “nasty comment” and “feedback”. I can tell you what changed me.

A couple of years back I got a letter from a woman named Elise. She wrote me a letter about how insulted she was that I called Atkins “The Ranch Dressing and Bacon” diet. She said that I had no idea what I was talking about and I did not know anything about the Atkins diet.

She was right. People always say they have tried every diet out there. I do not believe that. I think that many people “kind of” tried every diet out there. And when you “kind of” try something, you get “kind of ” results.

It hit me. After that I stopped talking about specifics in my diet. I stopped using terms like “only diet” and “best diet”. Will it really help people if I say drink water? Will it help if I say log your food which I do not do? Those are questions I had to answer for myself. The truth is I lost 221 pounds on numerous types of diets. It was more South Beach and Zone than Weight Watchers. But no one loses weight the same way.

So I focused on telling some weight loss humor. I would blog silly posts to get a laugh. Then people would send me emails about how annoyed they were with my posts and how I should talk about how I lost weight. Of course I got a lot of emails from people about how funny my posts were…..but who remembers that? Well, we all should.

So I changed it up a little more. I did not blog as much and did more on social media sites. Facebook has always been my favorite. Twitter is too “real time”. I have 18,000 followers which really is 32 followers in real people. I get messages all day about how people are laughing at me with virus links. I am not a Twitter fan.

But I started my Facebook page a couple of years back. Everyone has Facebook. It is instant yet not intrusive. If you do not like me, then you will not get updates. you still have the right to check out the page. You can message on there and….well I love it. I cannot say enough good things about it.

I have been trying to find my groove since we lost our baby in 2011. I cannot lie, I have really been humbled in life. But what it has done is made me focus a little more on my family and myself as well. My eating and fitness has been strong. Did I fall? Sure did. I have said that at the beginning of the year I was 272 pounds. I have lost over 50 pounds this year. but I do not talk about it. That is not part of my story as much.

So I have been writing. I have put up really good posts on Attune and Anytime Fitness. I am proud of them. Thankfully, they are proud of me as well.

I also made an investment in promoting myself a little more on Facebook. I have worked real hard on some status updates and original pictures to post on there. Do I tell people the hottest ten tips of eating and working out? No….never will. There are millions of people with catchy names who do that.

My focus has been about why I decided to lose weight and all the games weight loss can bring. How maintenance is a tough place but possible and how life does not give you lemons. Life give your the capability to get lemons.

It has been successful on Facebook. I am proud and thrilled of everyone who has come on and liked my page. Yet recently I have had numerous people message me about how I am narcissistic and I write about the same thing and I should focus on helping others instead of talking about my dumb a**. It comes with the territory.

Of course I get emails, messages, status updates and comments from people who tell me that after five years, my blog has never been better. But who remembers that?

I do. I want to thank everyone for the support I have received over my five year online span.

The post Because People Will Hate You appeared first on The Anti-Jared .

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