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Bears Attacking the Beehives

Posted Nov 04 2009 10:03pm
It would be fun to be a grizzly bear. I could hibernate all winter and dream of honey like winnie the pooh! I wouldn't have to wake up every morning for the commute to work in those horrid manmade machines that stink up the earth with putrid poisonous gas. 

The earth would be happy with me if I was a bear and I could pretend to be extremely intimidating to humans and humans would be downright scared of me.

RAWWWRRRRR I AM TONY THE SCARY GRIZZLY BEAR. NOT THE PINK PANDA RAWWWRR! Do you want to get paw smacked?

See? Scary.

You know what would be the best thing about being a grizzly bear though? Not having to worry about my body-image. If I was a bear I could be as fat as I wanted and no one would judge me. That's right. I could live the good life and eat as much honey as I wanted. If a human were to see me they wouldn't judge me for being a fat bear. They would probably be running for their lives though, don't cha think?

Being a human sucks sometimes. If I was in a sci-fi fantasy movie, I would play a dancing robot (or a bear). It's cool because I could dance like a ballerina, but I wouldn't have to have any of the responsibilities a human would have or suffer from any of the physical ailments that people ballerinas go through. Therefore, being a dancing robot would be the best possible thing that could ever happen to me if I was cast for a movie that needed a dancing robot.

Tonight I'm hitting up the casino and I'm gonna chat it up big time with some of the locals there that spend their lives wasting away at the slot machine. I'm gonna ask them how it feels to be wasting their lives away trying to win some pocket change at the slot machine while I do exactly the same thing. Life is funny sometimes, especially when there are high stakes at risk like at a 25 cent slot machine. 

Oh, and to the anonymous commenter in my last post who said that I needed therapy...My answer to you is...

Doesn't everyone? :) 

Have a nice weekend

xoxo Gossip Panda
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