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Ask Roni - Family Support

Posted Aug 24 2008 10:11pm

Hey Roni!

A quick question...I know your husband isn't always on board with some of the food you cook, but have you ever had any issues with him supporting you on your weight loss? Both my husband and I are doing WW, him a little more successfully than myself, but lately, when I've needed him to drag me off the couch, he's content to just go to the gym alone, or cook his own meal. I know I'm the type of person who really needs support to be successful, and that's why I love reading your site, and other ww blogs/messageboards. Just wondering if you ever had any resistance at home too, and if so, how did you get through the tough times?


Hi Coral!

This is a GREAT question and actually one the husband and I **cough** discuss all the time. See, he’s never had a weight problem. Actually he had the opposite problem in the past, not being able to gain weight in his younger years. I actually wrote about his skinniness in an older post about naturally thin people . Being someone whose weight hasn’t been a problem he never really understood my issue with it. He seemed confused that the concept of “just eat less” didn’t work for me.

However, that being said, he’s been supportive in his own way. First, he’s never made my weight an issue. We’ve been together through thick and thin, literally, having met at an average size 12, gaining up to a 16, losing down to a 10, gaining back up to a 16 then down to a 6 and every other stop along the way. He has almost seemed oblivious of my weight even looking back at old pictures in disbelief that I was that size. Now I know that may not be the support you are asking about, but for me it was important to know the person I love loved me regardless of my size.

The reason why I think your question is so important is because it extends way beyond just weight loss. Motivation to live a happy, healthy, active life is hard. How do you wake up every day with the drive to make the right choices when it comes to good nutritious food? To get your butt to the gym? To shut the TV off and take the family out for an after dinner walk? For some of us these choices do NOT come naturally and they take hard work, drive and support to make them every day.

Now, I (if you haven’t noticed) have a wee bit of motivation and determination. Ever since the birth of my son, I feel as if I have more confidence and purpose to live a healthy life as an example to him. This keeps me going most of the time but I’m human and sometimes I want someone to give me a kick in the ass to get moving too! This is what the husband and I discuss. I need him to take the lead in the right direction some of the time, to pick up the slack, if you will.

I’m going to be honest (as I always am), he doesn’t always give me the kick when I need it. That’s why I seek support through other channels and you are already doing that! Finding support and motivation online through weight loss blogs , message boards , and reading of others success are all great outlets. I’ve also recently found a work out buddy at the gym which has done wonders for my workout motivation.

My suggestion is to talk to him if you haven’t already. Many people think everyone is like them. Since he doesn’t need the support he may assume you don’t either. If you talk to him and he still doesn’t give you the support you need don’t get discouraged. Not everyone is a ‘coach type’ personality. Look to him as an example instead and try to follow his lead.

I hope that helps!


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