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As a Heavy Woman or a Thin Woman — Can You Be Happy with Yourself?

Posted Mar 13 2011 7:07am

The other day I saw that “Drop Dead Diva” is coming back with new episodes. If you’ve never seen it, it’s on Lifetime channel, and it’s about a plus-size gal who’s a great lawyer, a great friend, and has various men interested in her. It’s really fun to watch—very entertaining.

So I was trying to remember before I lost 60 pounds (10 years ago) and how I was compared to her. Well, the truth is, I was not a happy person. My life wasn’t ticking along like hers does.

I overate when I was lonely, and especially when I felt hurt. I ate too much when I was anxious, when I was tired, and when I was angry. Eating so much did a little to help with those difficult feelings, but it didn’t fix things. And too often I ended up feeling really bad, because I experienced myself as having no self- control.

So I am much, much happier now. I am learning to feel my feelings, and not hide them under tons of food. Sometimes it’s painful, but never as painful as it used to be when I hated the way I looked, and—more importantly—hated the way I felt.

It’s heartening to see a woman who is on the large side having a good time. But that wasn’t me, for sure.

That’s TV for you. But it is a very entertaining show.

 

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