An Unexpected Lesson In Mastery (Or, Why Do We Tell Ourselves Bullshit Stories?)
Posted Feb 20 2013 7:49am
What if you are not…
…[fill in the blank]
…or any of the other bullshit stories you’ve been telling yourself?
And what if there’s nothing to fix before you you’re allowed to…
…write that book
…start (or grow) that business
…meet the person of your dreams
…fall in love
…live your freaking life?
And WHAT IF…
…writing that book
…starting (or growing) that business
…meeting the person of your dreams
…falling in love
…living your freaking life?
…was actually dependent on believing that you ARE whole and complete right now?
Could you do it? Can you tell yourself a story that’s not full of bullshit?
I’ve been doing A LOT of Acceptance Whispering in the past few weeks…not just with others, but also with myself. And I’ve been hearing lots of bullshit stories (and some of the biggest ones are those I was telling myself).
For example: I have to be pathetic in order to have something worthy of sharing.
Wait, what? Yeah. Let that sink in for a moment.
Let me start by saying that I didn’t fully realize I was telling myself that story.
So what do I mean by that?
At first, this blog post was going to be about how I did a teleclass last week and then afterwards had a meltdown because I thought it sucked. Well, not the whole thing, but the last part, where I opened it up to anyone who wanted some coaching.
And I thought, “Well, at least something good can come of it. I can choose to be vulnerable on my blog. I can show how pathetic I am because that’s what I do.”
Yes, I really thought that. And there was some accompanying shame and dread. I shrunk inside.
And I hadn’t even listened to the recording of the call!
And then, I caught myself (with help) telling that bullshit story. And I listened to the recording.
Fact is, I am not pathetic. Not even close. And the call was awesome!
So here’s the question: Why would I choose to believe that I am pathetic? Why would any of us choose to tell ourselves a bullshit story?
In my case, I was convinced that I had to be critical of myself…immediately, without even having heard the recording, without evidence or proof. And here’s the thing: when I do this to myself, it results in feeling shame and dread.
On a deeper level, it stems from the fear that I might not have what it takes to do what I want to do.
And when I have shame, dread, and fear, I shrink and hide. And when I shrink and hide, the result is I most certainly do not have what it takes.
One thing I know for sure is that I’m here to change the way we think about our bodies and ourselves, because when we think we’re broken, we ACT broken. And that’s no way to serve the world…that’s no way to shine brightly…that’s not the way to success, in whatever way you define it. Continuing to think you’re broken only perpetuates brokenness.
If you think you’re broken…if you think that you need fixing before you can have or do what you want, ask yourself why you’re choosing to think that. Ask yourself, “Where am I getting this message from and why do I believe it?” Is it helping you in any way to feel or DO better?