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An Ode To Real Women

Posted Apr 09 2012 9:35am

Real women do indeed have curves, and real women also have visible ribs and jutting hipbones.

Real women shave their legs, or not.

Real women have silky blonde hair, and kinky black hair, and frizzy mousy brown hair.

Real women are authentic and fake.

Real women dye their hair, and they don’t.

Real women are independent, and they rely on someone else.

Real women starve themselves and gorge themselves.

Real women read literature and trashy romance novels and The Wall Street Journal.

Real women are “skinny” and “fat” and “normal.”

Real women are vocal and fight for their rights, and they don’t give a shit.

Real women have eating disorders, and they do not.

Real women are honest, and they manipulate, lie, cheat, and steal.

Real women have buns of steel and droopy asses.

Real women don’t eat sugar, or they do.

Real women have wrinkles and pores and scars and stretch marks, and flawless complexions.

Real women walk for 30 minutes a day, or run marathons.

Real women are physicists, stay-at-home-moms, foreign correspondents, housekeepers, executives, teacher’s aids, super models.

Real women have cellulite, or not.

Real women sit at home all day eating bon bons while watching soap operas, and they climb Mount Everest.

Real women disdain porn movies, or act in them.

Real women are badass or girly-girl. Or both.

Real women are insecure and confident.

Real women are obsessed with their bodies, or don’t have a mirror, or even a wall on which to hang one.

Real women work their fingers to the bone, or not.

Real women are 23, 36, 48, 55, 67, 79, 84, 90+

Real women keep a clean, neat home, and they’re slobs.

Real women compare themselves to others, all the time, sometimes, or not at all.

Real women are mothers, or not.

Real women wear a lot of make-up, or not.

Real women are on diets, or not.

Real women are straight. And gay. And Bi. And.

Real women eat meat, or vegetables, or not.

Real women are healthy, have diabetes, cancer, bipolar disorder, anxiety, autism, ADHD, a cold.

Real women wear size 12, 2, and 22.

Real women have poochy bellies and six-pack abs.

Real women eat a proper breakfast, or cheese puffs and diet Coke, or nothing.

Real women are photoshopped, or not.


Now it’s your turn: real women…

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