To carry over the “someday is now” theme from my last post, how many times have you heard “it’s the journey not the destination”? I’ve heard it (and thought it, and said it) about 306 trillion times. And how many times I have assumed that the arc of my journey will end when I reach my destination? How often have I assumed that my journey is an arc? A lot.
I’m fascinated by the fact that it takes time, sometimes a long time, to “get” something that you think you already know – to “get” it on a cellular level. I thought I was all about my journey…a total journey woman! But the fact is, always in the back of my mind was the idea that I’d get to the destination, preferably sooner rather than later.
I sometimes sense that my journey is painful (frustrating? annoying?) for others to witness, especially for those who know me very well, or for those who love me. Heck, it’s certainly been painful, frustrating, and annoying for me at times. When I think back on all the things I’ve tried, all the machinations I’ve put myself through, all in the name of…what? Arriving at my destination after having traveled an arc-shaped journey?
The journey has NOT been an arc. An arc implies taking off, moving lightly up, up, and up and then gently down, down, and down until you land. My journey has been more like a hurtling flight, with moments of stomach-dropping turbulence, a lot of uneven bumpiness, and even a fair amount of smooth, effortless gliding. And all the while, I’ve kept at it, trying to stay in control of the rudder and the stabilizer (please bear with my mixed metaphors and clumsy analogies).
Lately, the flight has been rather smooth and pleasant. I’ve been able to relax a little and enjoy the ride, only needing small adjustments to maintain my flight path.
When I decided that my journey was moving from struggle to acceptance, acceptance became my destination and I shunned struggle. Then I accepted struggle as part of the deal. Now here’s the funny part: acceptance is no longer my destination, it is part of the same deal. It’s my journey.