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53 Days To Go - Out Of Commission

Posted Feb 17 2011 12:42pm
I've been very sick for over a week now, thinking that I was fighting off a common cold. Boy was I wrong. I finally made it to the doctor yesterday (yes, I know, Miss Healthy really dislikes visits to the doctor and only will go if it's her last resort, lol). It was my first visit to the doctor out here, and I was pleased. 1. He's a new doctor, so he's young and his knowledge is fresh and just out of med school. 2. He's new to the area, so it's like I'm getting a fresh new doctor just for myself, lol. I'm weird, huh? Anyway, I was VERY pleased with the hospital out here and the service that I got.

Today I'm feeling the best that I've felt all week! It's been a long dragged out week of wheezing and coughing. Plus, I haven't been to the gym since last Friday night, and even that was not fun. I spent 30 minutes on the stationary bike and burned a whopping 76 calories, lol. Yep, when I'm sick, I don't put in the effort that I should. On top of that, I didn't get weighed in this week because I've been so sick. So, next Tues, back to WW for me.

Last night I watched "I Used To Be Fat" on MTV . The guy on it, Tanner, was nothing but disappointing. I think what pisses me off the most is when people are given a once in a lifetime opportunity and just sit there and let life pass them by. If MTV had offered me the opportunity to workout with a personal trainer for 4 hours a day, you better believe that I've work my ass off -- literally. Tanner proved to be lazy and unmotivated, and "settled" in a toxic relationship. Let me recap...Tanner and his girlfriend Mikyla have been together for over three years. Tanner is 263 lbs. and overweight. Mikyla is in shape, fit, and even a varsity cheerleader. When Tanner and Mikyla are together they eat fattening foods and just veg out and watch TV. At the beginning of the show, Tanner even mentioned that the only reason he wanted to lose weight was for his gf. When Tanner begins his workout regimine with his trainer, he's working out 4 days a week, and even lost 13 lbs. at his first weigh in! Another week goes by and Mikyla breaks up with Tanner because she says that he's not spending enough time with her and too much time with his trainer. WTF?? In lieu of the break up, Tanner begins working out more and even spending more time with his trainer. His weight is decreasing and you can even see a bond between he and his father forming again. He's motivated now because he knows that it's just him. Another few weeks goes by and Tanner and his gf are back together. Yes...WTF?? And once they're back together, he skips out on sessions with his trainer, he begins eating like crap with her again, and GAINS weight. By the end of his 110 days he's lost a whole 30 lbs., which is the lowest amount of weight that I've ever seen on this show. He was a disappointment. But, wait! MTV usually gives the kids a few more weeks and months after to show what they look like. So two months goes by and they show Tanner being visited by his trainer. Do you think he dropped more weight or at least even KEPT the weight off that MTV helped him lose? NO! He didn't. He actually gained the majority of it back. He even made excuses as to why he gained the weight back and how he's just so happy with Mikyla and that's what's important. I wonder what it's going to take for him to realize that his health is just as much a priority as his relationship is?

I believe the reason why this episode angers me so much isn't just the fact that Tanner didn't reach his goal. It's also that I could relate to Tanner a lot. I've been in a relationship in the past where the person I was with was in really good shape, and I wasn't. I was living in denial. However, he'd always tell me how beautiful and perfect that I was, which would reinforce my self image insecurities. We'd eat junk food, veg out, and make those late night pizza orders that Tanner and Mikyla knew so well. That relationship lasted just about two years, and in that time I put on about 55 lbs. Exercise and eating healthy wasn't exactly a priority of mine at the time, but my relationship was. The more he and I would argue, the more I'd mitigate my feelings with comfort foods. As the relationship deterriorated, and we eventually broke up, I was left at 285 lbs. and completely heart broken.

It wasn't until a year later (by then I was at 310 lbs.) that I did a self-evaluation and realized that I wanted to lose weight. I wanted to be healthy and active and eat better. It's like Tanner's trainer, Eric, said, "In order to be successful at something, you have to want it." Keyword, "you." Tanner wasn't ready to lose the weight for himself. He made it known that he was only doing it for his gf, not himself. Perhaps after some more time, he'll see what he needs to do and start treating himself better.

Now that I'm older I am better to myself. I focus on myself with just as much energy as I'd put into any relationship. Lesson learned: You will never be truely happy in any relationship until you begin making yourself happy. When you're healthy, you're happy :)
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