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50 Lessons I Am Continually Learning

Posted Nov 10 2012 11:50am

Today I turn 50 and I am very consciously embracing all of my years. For me, 50 is NOT the new 30 because when I was 30 (and even 40), I was asleep at the wheel. My 40s were, by far, my best years, and based on what I continue to learn, my 50s will be even better. Here’s to being joyfully awake and alive!

  • It’s a trap to compare how you feel on the inside with how someone else looks on the outside.
  • It’s also a trap to compare how you look now to how you looked at any time in the past.
  • You can’t have positive without negative.
  • Acceptance is the opposite of resistance and both have a place in our lives.
  • Balance is overrated and it’s an illusion.
  • So is control.
  • And speaking of control, my ideal state of being in regards to food is that it doesn’t control me and I don’t have to control it.
  • It’s not about the food and it’s not NOT about the food. Thank you Geneen Roth.
  • Grief is exquisite.
  • It feels infinitely better for me to feel delighted and content than it is for me to be right.
  • The number on the scale doesn’t mean anything other than that it’s a number on the scale
  • If you think the number on the scale means something, then you’re responsible for what it means.
  • Pain, fear, and desperation do not motivate (for very long) and…
  • …anything undertaken from a place of pain, fear, or desperation pretty much never ends well.
  • Love, peace, happiness? It’s inside. It’s not something you can go looking for and find elsewhere.
  • When you think loving thoughts and feel loving feelings, you attract others who think and feel the same way.
  • You really do have everything you need, right inside yourself.
  • When you work on the inside, the outside falls into place. Thank you Eckhart Tolle.
  • “Going there” (to the dark, shadowy places in your soul) is not as scary as NOT “going there.”
  • Writing and publishing a book was one of the most significant things I’ve ever done, and one of the most insignificant.
  • Being able to accept praise and recognition from others and from myself is key to having a peaceful relationship with food and my body.
  • If I can’t praise and recognize myself, I won’t be able to accept it from others and criticism for sure will destroy me.
  • Compassion takes my breath away.
  • There’s a big difference between “being myself” and “being myself, damn it!”
  • This isn’t about “never again,” it’s about catching myself sooner the next time.
  • I don’t have to white-knuckle it for the rest of my life.
  • The point isn’t to never have another negative thought, it’s about not giving those thoughts power.
  • “Some day” might not ever come…so I might as well love myself now.
  • I will never look like a supermodel…thank God!
  • Sometimes growth and progress doesn’t look or feel like growth and progress…sometimes it feels like complete and utter failure.
  • Loving myself isn’t dependent on whether or not I worked out, or if I had an apple instead of a cookie.
  • It takes as long as it needs to take, and that’s okay.
  • It used to be about how I look. Now it’s about how I feel.
  • The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are. Thank you Joseph Campbell.
  • Self-understanding leads to self-appreciation leads to self-acceptance leads to self-trust.
  • All of this “self” work is the opposite of selfish. When you understand, appreciate, accept, trust, and love yourself, you’re finally capable of doing all of that for others.
  • All of this “self” work is the opposite of “giving up.” It does not mean you’re going to binge and sit on the couch watching TV for the rest of your life.
  • You can’t pour from an empty pitcher.
  • While empathy is a wonderful gift, it can be damaging to feel too much of others’ negative emotions.
  • Boundaries are our friends.
  • Physical sensations like illness, pain, and hunger are signals from our bodies to our brains. Emotional sensations like sorrow, rage, and exhilaration are signals sent from our brains to our bodies. Thank you Brooke Castillo.
  • I don’t need anyone to behave a certain way in order for me to be happy.
  • Our feelings cannot destroy us, no matter how it might seem so in the moment.
  • Funks happen. When I acknowledge funk, it passes by more quickly than if I try and resist it.
  • We cannot selectively numb emotions. When we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions. Thank you Brené Brown.
  • You can’t hate or resist yourself to a healthy weight (for very long).
  • Love and acceptance are where it’s at.
  • Committing to the process reveals the path.
  • It feels infinitely better to be for, not against.
  • Other people’s stuff? It’s not mine to fix.
  • The mind/body/spirit connection is very real.
  • It’s better to be a late bloomer than to have never bloomed at all.
  • Some of the best lessons I’ve learned, I’ve learned the really hard way.
  • All of this? It’s a practice.

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And the winner of the $50 gift certificate to Novica is…drumroll…Shelley B! Please send me an email (karen at kclanderson dot com) and I’ll email you your gift certificate!

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Please indulge me for my birthday. What lessons are you continually learning?

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