I write an eating disorder recovery blog; my own personal journey for health and to share what I believe in, that there is always hope.
It also focuses on my dream to becoming a published author...
Full Bio
staying focused
by
Vicky S.
Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders
This has been a difficult week to stay focused on moving forwards. Juggling work and recovery has felt harder than ever and I've felt disappointed with myself everyday but when I tallied up the bingeing and purging over 7 days, it was less than the week before. The right direction. Despite things feeling more out of control, my social life is g...
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OK
by
Vicky S.
Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders
I did well last night; I got through the shift without bingeing or purging, meaning I went over 24 hours without it. Today hasn't been as good; we get breakfast provided in the hotels, of course they are buffet style. I needed something but the sight and smell of all that food was overwhelming, I couldn't pull myself away. I should have gone str...
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Tired
by
Vicky S.
Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders
I can't wake up properly today, I stayed in bed until 1pm, even though I was physically awake. My body felt too heavy to move. Robert called me before he went to bed, as usual. I hate being away from him, he means everything to me; we are each other's futures. He'll be here in 13 days. I have to catch the train to work in an hour. It takes 2 h...
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Let's start.....
by
Vicky S.
Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders
Do you need to know much about me yet? You'll learn as I write. I'm 24 years old and for the moment living in England, where I am trying to establish myself as a writer/poet; but, next year I am moving to San Deigo (see picture!!) and marrying my wonderful boyfriend Robert. I wanted to start this blog to help me focus on my writing while makin...
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Hopes
by
Vicky S.
Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders
Why do we get our hopes up for something we really want, when we know it probably won't happen? I was all set to go to San Diego next month, I put the money aside and was excited about seeing Mi Amore, and actually finishing my novel, while he was at work. Now he's too busy, I understand, work comes first and there is no point in going over if h...
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Men!
by
Vicky S.
Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders
I waited hours last night for a phone call after leaving numerous teary 'please call' messages. My shift was exhausting simply because it was impossible to rest on the train; I can't complain it wasn't hard work but I so badly wanted to eat and eat. I managed until we were nearly there but even the scenery couldn't stop me. Fort William is alwa...
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Sorry!
by
Vicky S.
Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders
I am so terrible at keeping up to date and in contact with my friends! Well that is going to change, I miss everyone! It's almost the end of January already and I am proud to say after a lazy month I am back into my writing. A flash fiction submission for Mslexia is ready to mail off and a couple of poems are almost there too. If only the novel...
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TEFL
by
Vicky S.
Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders
I'm now qualified to teach English as a foreign language, or as qualified as I can be without any experience! I spent the weekend with other people on the same course (it'd be all online up until then) planning lessons and taking them. It was as much fun pretending to be the kids as it was actually teaching! I could apply for jobs abroad now but...
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I hate this
by
Vicky S.
Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders
I really really hate this disorder, addiction, illness, habit, whatever you want to call it! I got through an entire journey without bingeing or purging, I een ate a little more than fruit; but what happened when I got to the hotel-I gorged on the buffet breakfast, and as soon as I got up I went to the shops; I only needed face wash! I am detemi...
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Not in the mood
by
Vicky S.
Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders
Sorry I haven't been keeping up with things the last few days; I just don't feel in the mood to do anything. I have to get ready for work in a couple of hours and all I want is to crawl under my duvet again. I have managed to send the first 10,000 words of my novel off, but it's terrible at the moment. I was planning to seriously get on with it ...
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Into the Kitchen
by
Vicky S.
Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders
Today is a day for remembering and looking to the future, the events seven years ago have shaped this decade like no one could have imagined. Standing at ground zero in March I was awed by the weight of atmosphere; no one smiled, faces looked out on the construction in deep reflection. I walked away ready for the next half of the day and I kept ...
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My inspiration
by
Vicky S.
Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders
I promise I'll update a proper blog when I get home from work tomorrow, the train is keeping me away more than I'd like right now but rent is due! I want to share my favourite place in whole world, my inspiration since I was 13. Cape Cornwall, 5 miles from the very tip of England is the only cape in Western UK, I discovered the town St Just and ...
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Recovery IS Worth It.
by
Vicky S.
Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders
RECOVERY IS WORTH IT. I'm 2 months into my recovery, I'm eating breakfast and lunch most days, halved the amount of binges and cut down how often I purge but while I am promoting how much honesty and health are important I often feel like a fraud. Some days I can't fight and it's like I'm letting everyone down, not me, everyone around me and ev...
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Boa Tarde
by
Vicky S.
Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders
Ola! Still no word from my invisible boyfriend. He's 43 if he wanted to break up I would have thought he'd be able to actually tell me! I through with being paranoid about it, if we lived in the same country I would not put up with being treated like this; he's got until Valentines day. This has certainly spurred me on with thinking about my Br...
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Bills, bills, bills.....
by
Vicky S.
Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders
It's been a month for paying all those companies who provide us with our comfortable life. Couldn't be writing this without electricity, or excersing without the water, cleaned and poured straight into the house. The phone so I can chat to mum and dad and angain write this blog; the TV license, so I can distract myself when I should be writing! ...
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The pound shop
by
Vicky S.
Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders
Pound and Dollar stores are decieving! I've spent countless pounds in the 3 stores in Nottingham and 1 in Edinburgh. Yes, everything is £1 or 2 or 3 items but how come by the time you walk out of the door, £10 has disappeared?! These stores became apart of my lastest binge routine, I find something I like to eat, something cheap and get stuck i...
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Times past
by
Vicky S.
Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders
I finshed work over an hour ago but I'm not ready to sleep yet. I'm in Edinburgh, our best hotel! Since I stayed at dads this weekend and seeing the places I grew up in, playing in, I keep trying to imagine what life would be like if I had stayed there. I can't picture it; the memories feel almost as though they are made up. I walked through th...
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MySpace
by
Vicky S.
Posted in: Blog Posts in Eating Disorders
I have finally created a MySpace profile at www.myspace.com/vickyann82 It needs a lot of work but I intend to start posting some of my work very soon.
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