I have always had a very hard time listening to my body since I developed my ED. For the longest time I ignored my hunger, the feeling of needing to provide my body with food and energy, and am still to this day trying to figure out exactly what it feels like. Sometimes, my stomach actually rumbles, but sometime it just feels empty. Sometimes I don't feel it in my belly but when I get a headache or want to snap at everything that I pass or encounter.
I have been totally off energy wise the past few days. It's driving me crazy but I'm listening. I'm trying very hard to listen to my body and give it what it needs, from food to sleep to rest. That's why I went to bed earlier last night, and then came home to sleep two solid hours after I got home. That's why I (felt like I) took my dear sweet time on my evening run in the nasty heat and took my time walking afterwards along with stretching. That's why I ate the foods I wanted and needed and didn't feel a tinge of guilt.
So hellooooooo body, I'm listening. I'm trying very hard to not ignore you when you need me the most and provide you with what you need.
How do you read your hunger signals? How do you know when you're hungry? Do you wait to eat immediately? How do you deal with it...you know, other than the obvious and eating! ]]
Another morning with the two minute snooze...and then the cat bit my nose, now that's something to wake up to eh? So came the boring meal of the morning...
And out into the field
It was a hard morning. I was hot, like blazing hot, no wind, and tired. Not to whine, but so flip'n tired. Which is why I ate a snack a mere 2 hrs later...not because I was hungry but because I was exhausted and really just needed it to keep me awake; believe me, it was not easy at all.
You can bet as soon as I got home though, I was straight on that bed and passed the heck out. Like totally gone to the world the cat jumping all over the bed and attacking me feet won't wake me up kind of sleep.
Sleep, did me well. But my hunger was off the hook. Ok, I really didn't know I was hungry, but I had a raging head ache and knew I needed food. Temps were in the mid 90's, so I had a smoothie, in a bowl of course. I hate drinking smoothies, they kinda suck that way; too thin.
I should have been packing the afternoon away, cleaning and preparing for my trip, but instead I got sucking into Hyperbole and a Half ...which is a freak'n awesome blog. I have not laughed this hard in a very long time.
You seriously need to check it out.
Mid afternoon snack included an apple with pb...maybe more pb than apple. I kid, I kid...but there was quite a bit of pb consumed. PB LOVAH!
Alas, I finally got my butt off the floor and out of my dirt covered clothes to go for a slow, heat stricken 4.5 mile run in 40 minutes. I thought I was crawling! I suppose not...but I felt relaxed afterwards so that's all that counts. But I sure did look like I worked hard afterwards...btw, this is always where I end up after a run. On my living room floor, totally out of it.
I have always loved Gardenburger's Black Bean Burgers and when I saw them on sale the other day I picked them up immediately and couldn't wait to inhale one tonight. Sadly I became disappointed when, what did I smell but BBQ sauce?!?!?! WTF?!
As great as the sandwich looks...I did not enjoy it as much as I wanted to. Thank goodness I had fresh corn (which I forgot to picture because well, I forgot about it until half way through my meal), carrots, and a white peach to make up for the flavor sadness that ensued...
And to round out the night was a small amount of dark chocolate chips.