So, I was supposed to go home yesterday for the weekend for a doctors appointment and family reunion…but that didn’t happen. Instead, this did:
An awesome wall of rain, thunder and lightning.
Did I mention theFLASH FLOOD WARNING throughout the desert that erupted just as I was driving out of the madness?
Yes, that had me turning around and going back home to my poor Honey would had never been through a thunder and lightning storm in her tiny-herein-lived-life and actually, as much as i was confident in the program I set for my AC while I was going to be gone this weekend for her, I underestimated how hot it’s going to be…high 90’s! Yikes!
Anyhow, sorry to have not been present the past few days as I’ve been going through an emotional roller coaster with my eating and the anxiety of my upcoming annual appointment (which I had to cancel because of the weather keeping me out of town). I’ll go into more of that in the bit.
To keep you on edge, how about some tasty eats that I’m actually proud of from the past few days?
Wednesday morning I decided to try some Greek Yogurt again. I’d been eating it for a while but noticed that I was getting bloated/gassy and uncomfortable whenever I ate it. I took some time away from it to see if it would help and actually bought some single serving Plain Dannon Greek Yogurt (to try for the first time) instead of big containers without having the worry it would spoil (I buy the bigger containers because it saves money and packaging materials, which I hope keeps me more environmentally friendly).
Alas, this worked out pretty well. (I almost wonder if I let the big container GY sit too long and it might have been slowly going bad, making me feel sick…thoughts?) I mixed on container with some cinnamon and added in lots of strawberries and blueberries, along with a serving of PB Panda Puffs.
I spent most of the day stuck in the car driving around to points we needed to set up for bird surveys. I’m going to be doing some surveys in the mountains which I’m super excited about, as it’s a nice change in scenery and allows me to see something other than just desert dwellers! I mean, look at this landscape!
How gorgeous is that? And to add to the mountains, think fields, meadows and WILD HORSES. They were stunning standing out in the meadow all deep black and graceful…I can’t wait to get some shots of them!
Lunch was simple and filled with freshness! Veggies in a sandwich with hummus, laughing cow cheese and an apple.
I had a raspberry chocolate oatmeal bar for a snack on the drive home.
I had therapy that afternoon to talk about the upcoming weekend that now isn’t happening, but now I can at least work a bit more on getting ready for it.
I was famished by the time I got home and as much as I wanted to bake my italian spiced panko breaded tofu it was way too freak’n hot! So I grilled them on the stovetop…totally not the consistency I like for tofu, but yeah. I sided it with some carrots andketchup, and some fresh fruit.
That’s when the night spiraled in a horrible direction…lets just say intuitive eating was thrown out the door and anxiety took the front seat…as much as I hated the situation, that it occurred and some tears were shed, I made sure to start the next day on a right foot (I totally typed food! hah!).
But even though I tried to start the day off right by listening to my body, it was having none of it. My belly was upset the entire morning and when I did finally decide to have my-night-before-made-and-frozen-protein-smoothie along with a mixed berryoatmeal bar something was wrong. My belly got even worse…which doesn’t help with all the bouncing around I do driving in the mountains/desert. Bah. But I think the ultimate culprit in the smoothie was my Almond Breeze…I think it had gone bad and resulted in mayhem in the belly. Boo.
The smoothie was a great consistency though when I finally ate it! I mixed together:
Jay Robb Strawberry Whey Protein
huge handful of spinach
I made it the night before and froze it, then had it in my lunch cooler until mid morning when it was thawed out just enough to be like soft serve! I need to get my hands on some xantham gum to start revving up the consistency of my smoothie!
I didn’t eat much else throughout the day except for an apple, some cantaloupe and some Kashi TLC Crackers in hopes of it settling my tummy.
I went for a short walk in the afternoon before setting on some easy eats for dinner including an egg, laughing cow, tomato and spinach wrap with some fruit.
Like i said, I tried to head out to home last night but that didn’t happen, so I’m staying in this weekend to catch up on some much needed blogging, reading, baking, running…and anything else I want! Sky’s the limit for me this weekend!
I was feeling a bit better belly wise this morning but kept it simple just to be safe. Another smoothie in the mix, but sans the protein powder and instead PB for protein!
In the mix:
1/2 C frozen chopped cherries
1/2 frozen banana
1/2C small ice cubes
big handful of spinach
3/4C Kashi Honey Sunshine
Seriously need to get my hands on that gum. Would have made this smoothie so much better.
Off to…err…do what I want!
[[Side Note: Weighing In
As part of my recovery from my ED I have banned the existence of a scale from my residence (seeing as how it changes so often anyhow!). This has helped me out a lot because I can stay away from focusing so much on numbers, which has always been a big problem for me in the past (which includes counting calories and sizes on clothes).
Anyhow, I have had some deep and building anxiety for my upcoming annual appointment. The appointment itself (although never very fun) is not what bothers me the most, but when I first get there and have to weigh in. I don’t want to know what I weigh and know full well I can ask to be weighed backwards and never be told what it was, but it has been hard for me to do every single year since I developed my ED.
But as far as knowing the number on the scale being hard to tackle, it’s the comments I get from the nurses every year I go in. I know they go through an insane number of patients every day and throughout the year so they can’t really remember everyone individually, which is where the hard part comes in for me as EVERY YEARthe nurse who weighs memakes a comment. I know full well that my weight is up since I was there last year and every year since 03’ when I was sick and weighed much less than I do now so it’s hard for me to hear them say, “Looks like you’re up a bit from when we last saw you!”
And the best part? These women are never in a good mood, EVER. They are always very harsh but I try and take it with a grain of salt knowing that it is nothing personal, as hard as that can be to accept.
Anyhow, one part of me wishes that my appointment didn’t need to be cancelled so I can get it done and over with and quit worrying, but on the other hand gives me a bit more time to adjust to being strong enough to handle asking to be weighed backwards and not informed on the number, and if they make any sort of comment. I’m working with my counselor on this so hopefully that will guide me in the right direction.
Do any of you have this problem at your doctor? Do you ask to be weighed backwards and not know the number? How do you deal with it? (Though I would never want anyone to have this same problem ever! It’s horribly exhausting!) ]]