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Permanent Link: Fear

Posted Nov 28 2009 12:00am

I’m scared. It’s almost three months after the crash at Kulai, but I was really scared the whole time in Msia today. By the way, I think the govt built the roads there with the sole purpose of tripping cyclists. There are a GAZILLION (and i’m not exaggerating) potholes on the road (as in really deep HOLES in the ground) and it is SO BUMPY that my teeth were clattering together and my bike was vibrating like crazy and the ground is the most uneven shit in the world. I was scared that a repeat of last time would happen – that the guys in front would crash, and I would ride into them, or that I would crash.

My heart was in my mouth the entire time today. Not a good feeling. I need to get over this fear… It’s making me hesitant, unconfident… The last crash has affected me more than all the previous crashes, but y’know what, I know there’ll be more crashes to come in future. For sure. Sigh.

UGH BY THE WAY I SAW A DEAD DOG TODAY!! on the road!!! it stank. its four limbs were gone – torn off savagely, and what was left was just bleeding stumps. Its nose and mouthwere a gaping hole of blood, and its eyeballs were totally sticking out. It made me sick to the stomach. Think it was run over by a car.

I felt really, really sick.

Okay… am really tired now. unfit as a pig. Not in a good mood the past few days. Is it cos of PMS? i always thought girls used their period as an excuse for being emo nemo. Hope i’ll be happy again tomorrow! By the way, Pattaya is now an obese lump of fat and fur. haha. it doesn’t move any more!!! Yippee!!! It kinda just lies there motionless (no, it’s not dead) so I can stroke it all I want. MWAHAHAHA

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