That is all I really have... excuses, excuses. I would like to think of them as reasons... reasons why I haven't been blogging regularly, reasons I haven't been running regularly, reasons I haven't been eating properly, reasons, reasons. But if I am being honest, they are only excuses.
Why is it much easier to be undisciplined? Why does crap food taste better than good food? Why does it feel better to rest than to exercise? Does it ever get to the point where it is easier to make the right decisions? Does it every become natural to want to eat well and run for mile after mile? Or am I doomed to a never ending cycle of good days and bad. Of good months and bad. Of good years and bad.
I don't know of an easy solution. I just know that I am happier when I know I am making good decisions. So why do I do these destructive things to myself? Why do I make these bad decisions? It is my undisciplined self winning over me. It is my undisciplined self that is making me do the things I do not want to do.
So I can either let my undisciplined self continue to rule over me or I can take a stand, slay the monster and get back on my course. I realize the choice is solely mine, I just need to make the decision who I want to be--the default undisciplined self or the self that rises above, to accomplish that which is beyond my normal reach.
The only thing achieved in life without effort is failure.