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YOU ARE AN . . . . iron. . . man . . . kinda half of one

Posted Jan 11 2009 5:42pm
I finished ok for a first timer I guess on a VERY tough course. (Wildflower, Schmildflower) Swim pathetic as always, bike pretty average, run very tough. Had a great time and will do a full race report on Ironman 70.3 at Buffalo Springs Lake later. For now, some random observations that I hope you will find humorous or perhaps touching.

1. Orca is a great line of clothing products; but (not to be ugly or anything) if a big gentleman puts on gear that is colored to resemble a Killer Whale, everyone is thinking "SHAMU!" or "FREE WILLY" Perhaps Orca ought to rethink their sizing policy. I'm just saying.

2. You know that smell of two cycle lawnmower fuel and grass clippings in your garage? That's what the water in Buffalo Springs Lake tastes like. I had a lot of it. Eau de garage.

3. Not to be cheated, I sorta kinda did a full ironman swim, almost. I was ALL OVER the freakin' lake. After the first turn, I think there was a current down towards the dam, and I washed WAAAAAAYYYYYYY wide. I am thinking about asking the race director for extra credit.

4. I saw Natasha Badmann on the bike!!!!! Well, not exactly. What I saw was an oncoming yellow blur that was there and gone in a nanosecond, after which I was buffeted by a slipstream that could have been generated by a cement truck.

5. I saw Natasha Badmann finish!!!!!! Well, not exactly. I was in T2, IN T FREAKING TWO, when she broke the course record and finished in 4:21. (My wave started like way later so it really did not take me nearly four and half hours to reach . . . never mind.)

6. If Natasha Badmann and Clark Kent made babies, kryptonite would no longer be a problem.

7. Grannies who do ironman races and make faces like Marines in bayonette practice while climbing absolutely Rock.

8. Grannies and Gampas that do ironman races together more than rock. That's freakin' hawt.

9. The baddest @$$ on the planet award goes to the racer who was cranking his WHEELCHAIR (not handcycle mind you, WHEELCHAIR) up the massive hills on the run---six inches at a time for half a mile or more. I saw perhaps 10 such bad @$$e$. They made me weep.

10. Maria Gratia, who is virtuous and and full of grace, does not like it when I notice hawt athletic chicks. So, I will not blog about the hawtness of the Latina in the black racing outfit who smoke up the canyon wall and passed me like I was parked. See, Maria. No need to thank me. I'm just here to help.

11. Murphy's law of triathlon states that even if you run pretty well for most of the run, the 25 year old awesome tri chica who rode up with the group will pass you after her turn around at the very instant you walk to manage a cramp.

12. BIIIIIIIIIGGGGG UPS to the race directors. There was ice and water and gatorade and gels and cold rags and various and sundry other things at EVERY aid station, all the way through the event. AWESOME organization.

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