Boys. Beware. This is probably not a post you want to read.. Not my typical allthingstraining post, but hey it is my blog and after THIS post, I suppose anything is fair game?
Here we go. So, as a girl we as athletes (ok, everyone really), have that monthly pain in the ass thing we have to deal with. It's just life. I'm fairly lucky as I've never had any issues. I'm healthy (somehow got that lucky gene even though my mother and sister both have had their fair share of problems both resulting in very young hysterectomies). Of course the one in the family who chooses to not have children is just healthy as a fiddle. god works in funny ways sometimes So of course rather than having healthy back, hips, neck and IT bands I get healthy parts that I don't really care as much about….
Anyway. I used to have a a cycle that I could track down the the HOUR. Yes, you read that right, hour. Then things got a little less consistent, but still always regular. I don't have a ton of pain, maybe just a couple hours or so and rarely do I have mood swings. I suppose it's really just like my personality. Steady, even keeled. I guess the really only bad bad thing is my bloating, but if that's all I get, I can take it (and of course bitch about it).
All that said, apparently the recent stress in my life has taken it's toll and I've been a little out of whack. I suppose my mom passing and finding out I have no job as of next year all within a couple of weeks of each other took it's toll. Last month, my cycle was delayed by almost a week. I ended up having to race in very uncomfortable circumstances but what I didn't realize is that delay may have also put me in bad timing for this weekend's upcoming race…and if things don't get regular could interfere with IM Canada as well. I know, not the end of the world, but certainly not something I want to deal with. So with all of this in mind I started Dr. Googling (it's totally a term, you know) to see if there was any crazy witchcraft like remedies to "start your period early." Yes, I totally put those words into google.
And, sure enough page after page of funny forums and crazy people asking crazy questions and even crazier responses popped up. A few were a bit out of my comfort zone and involve putting foreign objects into ones body (you know you are googling this right now, huh?), but I did come up with one other suggestion I was just enough NOT in the right state of mind and willing to try out.
Yes, I think I've lost my mind. No, it hasn't worked yet, but yes I'm giving it one more day of trying in hopes something happens by tomorrow am… Nuff said.
Like I said, I'm typically a no fuss kinda girl, however, every few months here and there my hormones must get completely out of whack because something inside me turns to rage. I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin, snippy, on edge and incredibly emotional. So, pretty much like most ladies once a month, but NOT.LIKE.ME. #husbandhappytoleavetown
Yesterday just happened to be one of those days. The alarm went off at 5 am for Shane to get up, run and start the trek to Boise. I woke up feeling unrested, and just cranky. I had my usual routine of Spark (seriously - love this stuff and have drank it nearly every day for over 10 years) and PB toast. I got my running clothes on and after about 20 minutes of procrastination (why does the taper do this to me?) I headed out the door. I immediately felt like SHIT. My hip hurt, my legs felt like lead, I was hot. My belly was swollen and felt like it was protruding over my shorts ala muffin top style. I had to pee (and yes I did - I have no shame in peeing in any of our desert washes - even if it's less than 1/4 mile from my house), and the thought of ending the run at "race pace" tempo made me want to vomit.
After the 30 min warmup I somehow lost my bitchy attitude and settled into a 20min tempo pace, dropping the avg about :10 each mile. By the time I got home I felt so much better.
Unfortunately the mood didn't stay and I continued to crawl into a deep dark hole the rest of the afternoon. I left my kitchen a mess (usually my pet peeve - is it REALLY that hard to rinse something off and put it in the dishwasher?), opened the fridge about 14 times thinking something yummy, pre-made and magical would just appear… Grabbed the box of girl scout cookies no less than 5 times but somehow convinced myself to put them back, making a better alternative decision with a Choc/PB protein smoothie to curb my craving.
Next up in my wonderful day was the dentist. At least I showered. With my husband's new 'willfully unemployed' status, we are losing our dental insurance at the end of the month. I had two old cavities that needed fixed and also one big honking old silver thing that needs to have a bit more extensive work done. None of which needed to be done right now, but the $ saved makes it worth getting it done. So, nothing more fun to do than sit and have your face turned numb, and teeth drilled into while the new to me dental assistant wants to talk about my life story, then proceeds to tell me that I remind her of Jody Foster. All things that are seemingly harmless but make me want to throw softball at her head for NO LOGICAL reason. The dental work ends and as I'm paying for the less than fun service and having to make a bigger decision about this stupid nasty silver tooth. I realize the decision is logical. Get the thing fixed, pay $500 vs $1000 without insurance or worse have the tooth crack and need a crown. But, instead of making the appointment for next week to start the process. I get pissed. Pissed that I have to spend $500 on my tooth. Pissed that I have to do it RIGHTNOW. Pissed that I'm not going to have dental insurance and even more pissed that I'm going to have to drive down from Flagstaff for a day to finish up the job.
Completely rational, right?
Next up was a trip to Target to restock my laundry supplies so I could actually finish what I started on Sunday. After I checked out I tried to ask the checker if I could leave my bags on the counter for a minute so I could use the restroom. As I tried to speak, I realized how numb my mouth still was and instead of actually speaking English, I sounded like a sedated 2 year old speaking with drool falling down my face.
Awesome. My life is Awesome.
Safeway was my last stop for a few juicing supplies (one more attempt to make myself feel human). As I was was in my own world in the self checkout line doing JUSTFINE, the helper person decided she needs to come stand over my shoulder and watch my every move trying to reach in and push buttons for me and tell me what I'm doing wrong and blah blah. I nearly bitchslapped her and walked away sans beets and kale.
my god I have got to get myself home in a safe place where no one has to see or talk to me in this state
Once home, safe and sound, I finished up work, obsessed over weather.com/Boise some more, got pissed that I'm going to freeze my ass off, fought off the urge (ok, somewhat fought it off) to eat all things chocolate in my house damn you Costco and your dark chocolate covered pomegranates, made another serving of above mentioned crazy witchcraft tea and settled in for several mindsucking hours of crappy reality tv #loveochousewives!
After bitching out loud to myself about my still numb face and wanting to eat, I made the very sensible decision to offset my chocolate intake with one of my everything I have in the fridge salads. Today's ingredients included; mixed greens, cucumbers, radish, snap peas, tomato, artichoke hearts, dried cranberries, sunflower seeds, topped with avocado, cottage cheese and balsamic vinegar.
As usual, I felt worlds better after a healthy meal. Rewarded myself with some more unnecessary chocolate, watched more mindless TV and finally put an end to my miserable day/attitude and went to bed.
So, back to my point about what a difference a day can make. I woke up, was woken up by little miss impatient Juliette having a party in the living room throwing her bones around the floor **CLANK** at about 5:45 am. My sleep in/taper day and that crazy red dog wants to be fed party. She continues her efforts to get me out of bed, by jumping up and down and running across my legs.
And you know what, I realized I didn't mind. HALLELUJAH! I'm BACK!!!! I got out of bed, poured myself some veggie/beet juice, made my PB toast and spark and started picking up the KristaNado of a house I left myself yesterday.
By 8 am, I had done 2 loads of laundry, unloaded the dishwasher, made some more magic witchcraft tea, walked the dogs and made the bed. Yes, things are back to normal and I'm hopeful I didn't offend anyone yesterday ;)
Oh and I haven't even reached for any chocolate. Yet.