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St. Greyhound's Day--Ode to a Cold Master's Swim Practice

Posted Jan 11 2009 5:40pm
**Editor's Note: It is a little known aspect of Christian history that St. Greyhound, who was martryed in an open water swim, is the patron saint of masters swimmers. This Ode is written in praise of the cold, thinly attended masters swim workout this morning. 44 degrees and steam billowing off the water in the outdoor pool at the Woodlands Atheltic Center. Brrrr.**

. . . O, do not wish one more.
Rather proclaim it presently through my host,
That he which hath no stomach to this swim,
Let him depart. His passport shall be made
And crowns for convoy put into his purse:
We would not swim in that man's company
That fears his fellowship to freeze with us.

This day is called the Feast of Greyhound:
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a-tiptoe when the day is named,
And rouse him at the name of Greyhound.
He that shall see this day and live t'old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say "To-morrow is Saint Greyhound":
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his m-dot
And say "These wounds I had on Greyhound's day."
Old men forget: yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember with advantages
What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words
Greyound the swimmer, Tac Boy and Trimama,
Bigun and TriDummy, Bolder and Kahuna,
Be in their flowing cups freshly remembered.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Greyhound Greyhoundian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remember'd;

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he today that sheds his swim parka with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And office workers in cubicles now abed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That swam with us upon Saint Greyhound's day.
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