So, yeah, I am not racing this weekend at USAT Nats.
And yeah, I am kind of bummed about it.
Why the quitter, you ask? (And oh my, do I ever feel like a quitter.)
Well, the stomach ache that I attributed to nerves last Saturday may not really have been from anticipation. Something I didn't realize until I puked into the sink on Tuesday night. Then spent most of Wednesday in sweats with chills and body aches. Felt more human today and decided to let my workout decide if I was keeping the hotel room in Tuscaloosa for tomorrow night. I was spinning like a top all week between "I am racing. Damn the stomach virus!" and "Seriously....you're sick. Don't be dumb."
Swim felt good....YAHOO! I am ready to race, finally felt excited for this race, my "A" race, the one I was so pumped to qualify for, trained super hard for, I was ready to go (These are my thoughts mid-swim.) Get out. Shower. OW. OW. OW. Stomach. Is. a. Knot. OW. Can't stand up. Grrrr....
Okay. Fine. I get the picture. I am not ready to race. I am barely ready to race with these girls 100% healthy....and sick? Yeah, not so much. What am I going to get out of it besides (1) a handy ass kicking? and (2) another week's worth of sick from pushing too hard while I was already sick? (3) the awesome experience of racing with the best in the country? (see, I am still back and forth on my decision!)
Excuses, excuses. I know. I hate 'em, too.
But, as a wise friend told me, I am not quitting, I am choosing to fight another day. (Thanks, Jill.)