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Juiced up division added to the sport of triathlon: wink wink

Posted Feb 09 2011 10:00am

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In a surprising announcement at 9am central time, the WTC, USAT and ITU have collectively come together to announce a new classification division for triathlon racing that will apply World Wide!

You’ve seen issues in the NFL, MLB, Pro Cycling and Olympics dealing with the crux of the new division. That’s right, the top 3 triathlon organizations are now recognizing performance enhancing drugs as its own division!

Many a sports fan has wondered about how MLB would change with juiced up batters slugging home run after home run. Who hasn’t been morbidly curious to see steroid enhanced (aka roid rage) football players bashing each others’ heads in on the gridiron?

How would the Olympics change if athletes’ only limitations were the speed of their government’s research departments? Well, these aren’t going to change any time soon due to the complexity of how to segregate juiced up participants from the slackers.

Triathlon, on the other hand, only needed to add another division. Similar to the 70.3 Ironman series in allowing athletes to use wetsuits in non-wetsuit legal races by placing them in a separate heat at the end of the start waves and not counting them in the age group classifications, athletes opting to use performance enhancing drugs get to race their own division.

Their results and division will stand alone from all other participants and will not count towards the overall winners. They will receive division podium placements as age groupers.

Will Luc Van Lierde’s record at Hawaii of 8:04 fall? What will be the new bar? Sub 7 hours? Sub 6 hours? Will 70.3 races become the new Olympic times? Sub 2 hours? No one knows but like the WTC, USAT and ITU, we are all eager with anticipation!

** Writer’s note, this is by no means a real press release. None of the mentioned organizations have made any announcements related to PED’s and a new division, but wouldn’t it be interesting?

Ryann Ryan Falkenrath writes the blog falkeetriathlon.blogspot.com , and is a married father of two, owner of three dogs and trying to balance life, work and multisport. Ryan has participated in multisport events since 2001.  Ryan is also the Kansas Endurance Sports Examiner and you can read more of his triathlon thoughs HERE . Contact Ryan at: falkeetriathlon@hotmail.com or follow him on @TriJayhawkRyan

*Expressed opinions are not necessarily that of EverymanTri.com

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