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Feature: The Complete Everyman Gear Guide (Part 3)

Posted Sep 22 2008 10:07am

Lz For most of us, long before there was swimming and even before there was cycling, there was running. It is what we humans do second. Right after we take those first few tentative steps that take us from baby to toddler, we lean forward and next thing you know, we are running to keep from falling.

So it is with a bit of trepidation that we know turn to running. Never has so much, by so many, been written about such a natural activity. However, you’ll still need gear. That’s why we've created this complete Everyman Tri Gear  Guide. So let’s keep this ball rolling and move right to the run segment of a triathlon.

The Complete EverymanTri Gear Guide (Part 3) by Roman Mica

8) Running Shoes

Buying running shoes at your local running shop may seem straightforward, as it does not require huge amounts of cash, but this too can be deceptive.

You may think that it only requires buying “cool or way- cool” running shoes with the correct logo, but wait until you get on the treadmill. Do you suffer from pronation or supination?

“I have never even heard of these hideous running deformities,” you say? But once the sales clerk has you on the treadmill with the video camera running, you’ll be amazed at the different types of running shoes for sale to correct this hitherto completely unknown but potentially race-ending deformity.

One hundred and fifty dollars for the top of the line Nike, Brooks or Adidas will seem cheap compared to expensive re-constructive lower leg surgery caused by this problem. So what’s the best shoe for you?

It is a well known and much discussed fact that certain colors are fast, while other’s are calming or even slow.

For instance what color is a typical Ferrari? Red of course.

What color is a typical semi-truck? White of course.

Now I’m sure we can all agree that a Ferrari is fast while a Semi truck is slow. Why? Because a Ferrari is red while a semi is white. For this reason I recommend that you purchase only shoes that of that are red or perhaps shades of red.

Definitely keep away from the calm, soothing or slow colors such as white, green or brown.

Keep in mind that Ferrari's also come is yellow, silver and black. So these are a good second choice of primary colors should the shoe store be out of the fastest red shoes.

9) Sports Watch/GPS/Heart rate monitor

Today’s top triathletes all use the latest technology for real time measurement of distance, pace, heart rate, caloric output, and even altitude. The latest in sports watch technology by such manufactures as Garmin, Timex, Polar and even Nike now make it possible to monitor your body and environment like an astronaut on a moon walk.

So what is the best sports watch for the Everyman triathlete?

When you think about it, clock technology has not really advanced much over the last 200 years. Sure you get a few more bells and whistles today but the accuracy of a 200 hundred year old clock (at least in relative terms) is almost the same as today’s modern GPS enabled watch.

Plus today’s technology is completely depends on battery life. How many times have you gone for a run only to find that you forgot to charge up your Garmin and it's now completely dead? This modern day time piece is about as useful as strapping a dead mouse to your wrist when it comes to keeping time.

That’s why I recommend that when it comes to the sports watch, you go completely old school. And by old school I mean old old school. I recommend the wind-up grandfather clock. Not only will you never have to worry about battery life but, dragging around a 200-year-old, 25 pound clock on your next training run will not only build character, but high degree of stamina…not to mention wood burns on your skin.

10) Running Clothes

Over the last decade running clothes have evolved from a cotton t shirts to highly technical moister-wicking, smelly-bacteria-killing, ultra-light non-rubbing, mega-cooling modern marvels.

I say forget all of this modern crap.

Nothing says that you are very fast and very serious like a black 1970’s Led Zeppelin, AC/DC or Iron Maiden concert t-shirt. That’s right, the more stuck out tongues on the concert shirt the better.

If you really want to be fast you want to exude as much male machismo as possible. Of course, nothing says that you are packing a massive piece of endurance hardware like a half-naked photo of a hairy-chested Robert Plant from the greatest Heavy Metal bank (Led Zeppelin) man-handling a massive glittering guitar like Prince at the last Super Bowl.

Of course like with everything in the complex sport of triathlon picking the right band is crucial. The shirt has to be black of course. No other color will do. If you can’t find a Led Zeppelin shirt, you can also be fast in shirts that feature bands such as Def Leopard or even the German band the Scorpions.

But beware, you don’t want to fall into the trap of being perceived as a wuss. Nothing says I’m a wuss like wearing an 80s hair band shirt. So please please please avoid the eighties hair bands like Motley Crue no matter what you may have heard that Pamela Anderson may or may not have done on camera to Motley Crue band member Tommy Lee.

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