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BaD-ASs - My Proposition Against Stupid Annoying X-mas Music

Posted Nov 27 2009 10:03pm

I don't have much time to write a meaningful, thoughtful post right now (yes, all my posts are meaningful and thoughtful... I'm a serious person). I've been planning to write a post about how I love Thanksgiving. How there are so many other - much cooler - holidays we can pick from: Halloween, for example, or my birthday (yes, my birthday IS a national holiday). I was going to write about how I love Thankgiving for the special, non-commericalized family time. It's not mandatory gift-giving time. It's mandatory get together, be grateful and loving time. We need more of those in the year.

But, you know, what? There is a bigger, better reason why I love Thanksgiving.

I love Thanksgiving because there is no STUPID, ANNOYING Thanksgiving music.

I find myself sitting and working in coffee shops a lot. Not because I like sipping on a latte and pretending to read a book while really people watching (preferrably wearing a cool hat). I just have got to finish a bunch of things before the year end, and nothing will get accomplished at home where there is a tv, a couch, a bed, a refrigerator... you get the point.

So, coffee shops. What's today? The day after Thanksgiving. And where am I? At Starbucks. The most corporate of places on Earth. And what do they think of the day after Thanksgiving at Startbucks? Oh, why, it's CHRISTMAS! Yes, they do realize it's still November. But we've got just a stinky little MONTH before Christmas and we must, simply MUST use every single moment to absorb, savor, and appreciate the spirit of Christmas, best expressed through fake snow and Christmas carrols. Oh, JOY!

People, we need a revolution of American suburbs. Who's with me? We can call it "Business Diversity for American Suburbs", or BaD-ASs. Rolls right off the tongue, I think. Because THIS is just getting silly. It's really not normal to begin putting up Christmas trees in mid-November in very warm Texas or Southern California. It's not normal to begin playing Christmas music all day long, every day right after Thankgiving. It's just not normal. And this is really common business sense. Just like you don't play the same CD over and over at a restaurant because you will certainly ruin the entire dinner for some of your customers who definitely won't return, you don't play the same Christmas music for an entire month.

And no, headphones don't help. Unless, you carry the ones in the photo above.

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