Sometimes a good scare is just what you need to get motivated again.
Late Monday night I sat in the ER department of our local hospital quietly praying that "this" was just a false alarm. That it was all going to be ok and that I could continue with my training and everything else I had scheduled from now until the end of the year.
Just a week ago I was ready to pull the plug on my Half Ironman in Napa. I had a "freak out" moment and while it might not be my last, I decided then I was done, done, done. I couldn't find a place to stay in Napa for that week, didn't realize how far the drive was going to be from AZ (12 hours) and am not happy where I am with my training.
Monday morning I woke with a funny feeling in my calf. It was a feeling I have felt before and it worried me. Four years ago I had a blood clot in my left calf and was diagnosed with Deep Vein Thrombosis. If you are not familiar with it, it can life threatening should the clot come loose and lodge into my lungs (a Pulmonary Embolism). I remember the pain I felt four years ago and this was oddly similar. I tried to think back about my race on Saturday and maybe I strained a muscle or pulled something in my calf. I couldn't pinpoint the pain, it felt deep inside my calf (first red flag). I sat in the car all day on Sunday as we drove home from San Diego (second red flag). My left calf was measuring larger than the right (third red flag) and because I have been diagnosed with DVT in the past, that was the final red flag. That led me to go to the ER that night, ok in reality it was the urging of family members since I am stubborn.
As I sat in the ER I thought of how this was going to make my kids really upset, hubby would have to come home from a trip, ruin my training, and even our upcoming vacation to Jamaica. I would have to go back on Coumadin (a medicine I hate) or even Heparin or Lovenox other drugs I despise because it requires you to inject it in the stomach yourself. Tears streamed down my face as I sat watching the ultrasound monitor they used on my leg to determine if there was a clot. An hour later the doctor came in and told me there were no clots. It was most likely a pulled muscle. But that I was smart with my symptoms and my past history, to come directly to the ER.
The scare made me realize that I don't want to stop training. It's not going to end now, I have come too far. I may not be ready to do Vineman this weekend but I have time and a healthy body- for now that is all I need.
However I will go easy on the calf for the remainder of the week.