My mom rocked when it came to my trauma. I know, I’m very lucky in this way. I talk to way too many survivors who relate heartbreaking stories of how their moms and even entire families abandoned them in their moments of greatest need, both during and after their traumas.
Still, there is a lot to be learned from how moms handle crisis. My mom, for example, went into let’s-get-it-done mode. During my trauma she was an unfailing advocate for me. Afterward, I wished she wasn’t such an unfailing advocate as her desire to help me heal from PTSD nearly drove me mad sometimes! True, she was always right in the energy she expended to find a way to feel better, but I wasn’t exactly always, shall we say, open to it.
We’ve all heard stories about moms who can lift a car off of a child when they need to. How do they do it? How do moms manage trauma and find a way to carry on? And, what can we learn from them? I learned from my own mom that no matter how much I thought trauma had killed the Me in me, she was right: when pressed and forced to I could usually reach down inside myself deeper than I’d ever been and find a way to pull up courage, strength, resilience whatever I needed that I thought I didn’t have. It wasn’t always easy, but she taught me to believe in myself.
This week on YOUR LIFE AFTER TRAUMA I’ll be talking to some very special trauma moms about their own traumatic experiences and how they learned to muddle through. Specifically, we’ll address how to deal with trauma’s impact inside of you while there’s a trauma still going on outside.
Are you a trauma mom? I’d love to hear your thoughts on what helped you deal with your own trauma feelings/experience even while helping your child.