Stress Management Technique: Are You Missing This Stress Management Technique in Your Relationship?
Posted Jul 14 2010 7:33am
Wayne: Can stress screw up your relationship?
Cecil: We really have to look at the root cause of this whole issue.
What’s the myth here?
The myth is not that stress screws up relationships.
The whole myth is that nobody is listening.
What I mean by that is we have two tape recorders.
Let’s assume it’s you and your partner. Both tape recorders are speaking, but nobody’s listening.
What’s the reason for that?
The challenge we have in communication is that we are very seldom listened to. Everybody is talking, talking, talking, but nobody is listening.
When people come to see me in my private practice, what happens is everybody is talking but nobody takes the time to listen. You have two tape recorders.
Think of a conversation you had with whomever and when you last had it. You find that as soon as you start a conversation and ask a question, the person starts talking to you and then you seem to be cut off.
People cut you off to tell you something about themselves.
People have a desire to be heard, but nobody is listening to anybody.
It becomes very frustrating, especially in relationships when you’ve gone to work, you come home to your partner and nobody is talking to each other.
“What happened today at work?” You start talking and your partner says, “Well, this is what happened.”
We have been taught what’s called “communication.”
What has baffled me for 14 years in my private practice is people come to me and say, “Cecil, we’ve done communication.”
What about listening?
I thought communication was all about listening.
People seem to think they understand communication, but very few people have been taught how to listen. It keeps folks from having a relationship.
That, in my opinion, is one of the biggest reasons for issues in relationships. Nobody is listening to anybody because everybody wants to say something.
We’re too busy to actually stop and say, “What is this person saying?” We don’t take time to acknowledge this person, listen to them and give them feedback.
Everything is happening so fast and everybody is so busy that nobody can take a break to actually listen to what somebody has to say.
The interesting thing about starting any relationship is the marvellous energy and exuberance you have. The challenge is, without a proper stress management technique for listening you can waste this valuable resource leaving you feeling frustrated and overwhelmed with nothing to show for your effort.
Be sure to follow the crucial beginner’s listening tips that I have outlined. Through these points, you could be at speed up the rate at which you attain your better communication. And this would definitely amaze you!
Cecil McIntosh guides solo-preneurs and entrepreneurs worldwide to learn to relax, stress less and overcome chronic symptoms so that you can quickly experience profound peace, power and work life balance. You can get the other 20 Tips of 21 no-brainer shortcuts to achieving your dream of health and happiness at http://eycfreebook.comYou can reach Cecil at http://www.cecilhelpdesk.com