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How to Deal with Grief and Start Recovery During Valentine’s Day

Posted Feb 10 2009 10:59am

Whether someone you love has passed away, recently or years ago, or you’ve lost the love of your life to medical issues or even a divorce or breakup, this time of year – celebrating Valentine’s Day – can be a rough week.
 
Here are quick tips on how to deal with grief and start the recovery during Valentine’s Day from Louise Zweben, CEO ofSympathyTree.com

1. Create an online memorial that brings your family and friends together from all over the world to share stories of love and loss, sadness and joy, written in words, photos and video about the person you lost; to help us smile, laugh, cry and embrace our loved one’s life in an effort to make sense of our loss. While allowing you to create a very nice tribute to them on this special day, online memorial also provides the comfort of a close community and allows us to take the first steps needed to move forward. See SympathyTree.com

2. Collect photographs and watch videos of you with your loved one as a way to remember the times you shared with them.  You do not want to just block it out.  Moving on starts with looking back.

3. Invite friends or family over to share a meal or some time together.  Time spent with them can be a very cathartic and reflective time and begins the process of putting things in perspective.

4. When your loved one has died, start the process of getting your business matters in order so you can begin to bring some normalcy back in your life. This involves getting in order the tax records, property records, investment records, insurance and retiree benefit records, as well as addressing trivial issues such as getting utility bills, bank accounts and credit cards in your name.  Working with close family members or an attorney is the right way to start.  Don’t postpone them for too long. Start something small on this Valentine’s Day.

5. Pledge to join a support group, so you can learn to cope with the loss of someone who was a part of what made us what we are.  So, what do we do, how do we go on after they are gone and how do we deal with the grief? In addition to family and friends, a support group can help you during this difficult time. 

6. Visit their grave, so you can tell them how much you loved them and miss them.  Say things you forgot to say when you were together, as if they are standing right in front of you.  You may be carrying burdens of guilt, which unless released, will come in the way of your moving forward.  Start unleashing those burdens this Valentine’s Day.

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