I've never written a blog before but then there is a first time for everything. I work for the Ambulance Service, and love my job but am completely beaten by the shambles of it's organisation.
After months and months of trying to get the powers that be to listen to me, my GP has signed me off withwork related stress. This is has been really hard for me to do and I feel like I've failed a bit, but then how much can people take before they crack?
The Ambulance Service has a huge hangover from the past. If anyone has watched the cop show 'Life on MArs' you will get some idea of what kind of atmosphere still exists in the crew rooms of the ambulance service. There are many dinasaurs there, many who believe that women should not be working there, or if they are to work there, that they should know their 'place' and limitations, and they should be 'ok' with the sexist jokes and put downs. Not just about women by the way, but racism is ok as well apparently. if you speak out or speak up you are labelled a winger, and the bullies close ranks and do anything to make your life a complete misery. So that's the background really of how I have ended up off the job I love. I was determined not to let the buggers get me down, but in the end they did.
I feel really guilty about being off work, because I know how busy it is at the moment and pushed my colleagues are, but I had to protect my self a little bit before I ended up going loopy at work. Why can't I just go along with it with silence like so many others do........sometimes I really wish I had been born a fence sitter.
Anyway, that'll do for now - starngely cathartic writting everything down!