I can’t believe it, the end of another month and that means the end of another series in the BRIDGE THE GAP healing PTSD workshop. For those of you who began in January, only 3 months to the end of an entire year of proactive, self-empowered healing!
As we head into the final quarter I want to hear from all of you, no matter when you began the workshop: What’s working for you? What do you wish there was more of? What do you wish there was less of? What do you wish would be changed? As I begin to think about the next cycle of the BTG workshop I’d like to incorporate what you all are thinking, wanting and needing. Please leave a comment or shoot me an email with your thoughts.
Now that today’s business is out of the way, on to the final post in the ‘Setting Healing Goals’ category. Over the past couple of weeks we’ve covered:
Before we move on to a new subject there’s one more thing to consider about goals: Why aren’t you achieving them?
I hear from many of you, so I know there are people making progress every day. I also know there are many of you getting stuck at various levels and for a variety of reasons. From my own healing experience, my professional training, and my conversations and correspondence with survivors here’s what I’ve noticed:
Whenever we get stalled, stuck or just flat out fail at healing there is usually one thing causing the meltdown: FEAR.
I wrote a post almost a year ago about all the reasons I loved my PTSD, and all the reasons I didn’t want to give it up. The main force behind all of my rationalizations was my fear of what would happen if I did heal.
It takes some serious courage, bravery and heroism to sit yourself down, figure out what fears are driving you, see how and when and where and why they are affecting your healing process - and then figure out how to make a change.
I wrote last week about how all bad behaviors have a good intention. Fearful behaviors fall into that category, too. One of the tricks to becoming unstuck is recognizing the fear; understanding the good intention behind it (what it’s trying to get for you or protect you from); and then putting in place things that will get you the end result without your own fears getting in the way.
You have to figure out what fear exists,
take an action so the fear is no longer relevant,
move forward with strength and power.
Sometimes, we get so used to feeling fearful we don’t even notice it. Today, it’s time to notice.
What’s got you shaking in your shoes??
BRDIGE THE GAP Exercise:
Find a quiet place where you can relax. Sit or lie in a very comfortable position. Take a long, slow, deep breath. Fill your lungs with air. Hold that breath for a moment. Release it slowly and allow your body to resolve all tension it might be holding.
Now, breathe normally and let your mind drift. When your mind and body are both relaxed and floating, ask yourself: What am I afraid of about healing my PTSD?
Don’t force the answer. Sit quietly. Breathe. Allow your mind to flit and drift. Let there be silence, or observe the chatter in your head. Focus. Ask the question again. And again. And again, each time giving yourself the space to answer. If you wait, 1 or 2 or 3 or 5 or 10 answers will come. When they do, write them down.
When you feel all of the fears have surfaced, look at your list. Rank the fears from the most strong to the least.
Starting with the most strong make a note beside each fear explaining what will need to happen in order for the fear to subside. When you have done this for each thing on the list you have your new To Do list.
Start planning how and what and when something will be done by you to assuage the fear(s) and unblock your path to healing.
(Photos: Mark Andrew Webber, Lindes, Catherine-Emily)