This entry has been a long time coming. Originally, I wanted to release a new entry for my blog every week during the year of the Tiger. After some trials and tribulations, I have discovered that it will work better if I just release a new post once a month. So here it is, the long-awaited #8.
Where things left off, is where they really began. It started with me doing something that I hadn’t done in a long time…playing music in front of a crowd. There was an open mic night at the Columbus Bar, not so long ago. It was exciting and scary all at the same time. I have to say, that I was moved beyond words by the number of people who came to see me play. It was such an unbelievably good feeling! This is when several things began to occur to me…
If you know anything about me, you know that I believe in living to help others. This, I feel, is my purpose in life. I realize that I’m not the only person to feel this way, but it feels like I’ve lived 5 or 6 lifetimes in just three and a half decades. Let me explain:
Just like all beings, I have had to find my way through this life. I have had so many different interests throughout different points; martial arts, poetry, music and fitness. For the longest time they seemed to have been there for a while, and then gone, and sometimes they come back. I could never figure out what I was supposed to do with all of these things. I just thought that they were things that I was fairly good at doing, but that was it. It had occurred to me that they were there to reach people, but it still felt like a bunch of fragmented pieces…that was, until the open mic night.
When something you been trying to attain (whether you realize that you’ve been trying to attain it or not) clicks inside of you, it can be both rewarding and frightening. It was no different in this case. People from all of my different worlds; fitness, poetry, music and Kung Fu had come together. It was like the Universe was screaming in my ear, and saying, “Wake up stupid! Your entire life’s purpose is in one room!” The feeling that washed over me was indescribable!
In the subsequent time since that evening, I have done a considerable amount of soul searching. I have really been trying to get back to exactly who and what I am inside. It has definitely come with some balancing. In the past, I have made the mistake of riding to high on the wave, only to have it come crashing down. I am now trying to learn from the previous challenges, and make more positive changes in my life so that I may affect other lives in a positive way. So far, not bad…I feel it will continue to improve. It is, like all things, a matter of devotion and daily practice.
I have realized that no matter what you go after, you still have to live everyday, and do all of the things that make you…well…you. I let my workouts slip a bit, and the nutrition kind of went to hell. It is only now that I feel I am on the other side of things with a new and improved point of view. I can still spend hours at work, and achieve all of the things that I am here to achieve. It is, as I have said before, a matter of balance. Finally, I think I’ve got a better handle on things, but I will always bear in mind that everyday, I must reaffirm my purpose and direction. Stay tuned….you are all a big part of it….and thanks in advance!