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Dream/s about a Broken Marriage

Posted Apr 01 2009 1:47pm

Dear Dr Kathy

DREAM 1
I kept dreaming this one over and over throughout the night, I kept seeing a very old and worn out flattened mattress on top of a grave stone in a cemetery, a full size mattress. It was the type of stone that laid flat on the ground and covers the whole area like a mattress would. In between the two was the color red.Yet I could still see the stone underneath. Grass was green around it and weather was nice.

DREAM 2
Another dream the same night, was I was catching these wild snowshoe hares w/a live trap and
getting them for their fur, working hard at it. (I can’t really kill animals just for their fur, I feel bad about the ones I have and had nothing to do with their deaths).

DREAM 3
Then the dream switched to me & the kids & my Husband were traveling in a big camper pulling a horse trailer w/our horses and going a long long way, home to MO I think. My husband was driving, and I had been sleeping and looked out to see where we were, we were in MN in one of my favorite small towns (passing through) Then I thought to myself, wow we’re almost there, good.

(The small tavern there serves the best chicken and french fries in the world, I make a point to stop there whenever I have been in the area, we went there our whole lives when we lived here, my mom & I went a lot. It holds some good memories with her and was always a “TREAT” to get out and go there, even though she had to drink, I still got my chicken. This town never grew, and the next town from it was my favorite town growing up and it blew up into a huge city now and I hate it.

But, in reality we were not heading towards MO, it was “the opposite way” I don’t enjoy traveling long distance driving at all. I went to see how my husband was doing driving, and I passed in front of a door mirror. I had on this horrid brightly colored sweatshirt with hideous pinks, reds, purples, yellow and with a pink colored type of sweat pants (Something I would NEVER wear-UGLY!). The shirt pulled tight across my belly and you could see my roll, as I passed in front of the mirror I seen that and thought-I wonder if my husband Pat sees this roll like I do?

I then went on to where he was, he was standing in the middle of the drivers room, and I said,
who is driving? He said I am, he had his left arm up and was moving his hand like he was holding on to an invisible steering wheel (Like you would do in a video game) and that was how he was driving, I knew then he had been driving for so long he knew where to put the wheel without having to be at the wheel. I had confidence in him in the way he was driving, just surprised at the method he was using, seems kinda dangerous to me.

The outside was extremely cold, windy, snow, barren again. When i did look out of the window I seen a snowshoe Hare stuck on a post along side the high way, someone trapped it and hung it there-like people leave bags of garbage they pick up along the side. I thought to myself, I would use that rabbit instead of it going to waste, and hey…that is a good idea to metal trap them, faster then live trapping them.

Thank you in advance,
Rene
_______________________________________________________________________________

DEAR RENE,

LOOKING AT THESE DREAMS BELOW, I FEEL THEY RELATE TO YOUR MARRIAGE.

DREAM1:
A DOUBLE MATTRESS INDICATES YOUR MARITAL STATE AND THE MATTRESS SYMBOLIZES
THE FOUNDATION OF THE RELATIONSHIP. AS YOU HAVE GUESSED, ITS NOT SO GOOD. IT APPEARS YOU ARE TRYING TO BEAT A DEAD HORSE. (THE MATTRESS IS IN A GRAVE YARD WHERE THE “DEAD” REST.) YOU MENTIONED THAT YOU LOVE GRAVEYARDS WHICH INDICATES TO ME THAT YOU STILL LOVE YOUR HUSBAND…BUT THERE IS ANGER AND RESENTMENT THAT KEEP YOU SEPARATED EMOTIONALLY AND INTIMATELY…(COLOR RED= ANGER, RESENTMENT).

THERE IS STILL LIFE AROUND THE GRAVE SITE WHICH MEANS THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE. THE WARNING HERE IS, IF YOU DON’T START COMMUNICATING, YOUR MARRIAGE WILL COME TO AN END. HOWEVER…I’M NOT CONVINCED THAT YOUR HUSBAND IS READY TO COMMUNICATE, NOR DOES HE WANT TO CHANGE….ITS JUST TOO HARD, TOO MUCH WORK, HE MAY HAVE ALREADY GIVEN UP?

I’M NOT TELLING YOU ANYTHING YOU DON’T ALREADY KNOW, CORRECT?

DREAM 2

THIS DREAM TELLS ME YOU ARE THE ONE FEELING TRAPPED. YOU HAVE REPRESSED EMOTIONS TOWARDS YOUR HUSBAND THAT NEED TO BE EXPRESSED. YOU HAVE TRIED TO TALK BUT YOU FEEL ITS A WASTE OF TIME. HIS SPIRITUAL DEPRESSION/DEATH HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. ITS NOT YOUR FAULT EVEN THOUGH ITS DIFFICULT TO WATCH. YOUR HUSBAND HAS TO WANT TO WORK ON HIS ISSUES IN ORDER TO HEAL. NOTHING YOU DO WILL FIX HIM. HE HAS TO WANT TO BE FIXED.

DREAM 3

THE TRAILER SYMBOLIZES THE “BIG LOAD” YOU HAUL AROUND WITH YOU JUST TRYING TO
MANAGE YOUR HUSBAND, THE KIDS AND THE FARM ANIMALS. (He was driving) HE HAS CHOSEN HIS OWN DESTINY APART FROM YOURS….

(and I had been sleeping and looked out to see where we were),,, YOU ARE UNAWARE OF WHAT YOUR HUSBAND WANTS OR NEEDS BECAUSE HE DOESN’T TALK, YOU JUST KNOW SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE.

(we were in MN in one of my favorite small towns)…YOU ARE HANGING ONTO THE PAST. MEMORIES OF THE BETTER TIMES IN YOUR MARRIAGE WHICH KEEPS YOU HOPEFUL…FOR NOW. EVEN THOUGH HE STILL CHOOSES TO DRINK, ITS A TREAT DURING THE OCCASIONAL GOOD TIMES YOU HAVE/HAD TOGETHER. IN A LOT OF WAYS, YOU MARRIED SOMEONE LIKE YOUR MOTHER WHO DID NOT HAVE THE CAPACITY TO MEET YOUR NEEDS, BOTH BEING ALCOHOLICS.

“THIS TOWN NEVER GREW” YOU HAVE GROWN A PART. HE HAS NOT GROWN SPIRITUALLY, YOU HAVE GROWN INTO A CITY COMPARED TO HIM, (ITS JUST SYMBOLISM…I KNOW YOU ARE NOT A CITY GIRL).

“IN reality” we were not heading towards MO, it was “the opposite way”

IN REALITY, YOU ARE HEADING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS. YOU KNOW THE WAY TO MO. AND YOU KNOW HOW TO GET THERE….HE APPARENTLY DOES NOT KNOW (IN THE DREAM).

…sweat pants (Something I would NEVER wear-UGLY!).

ITS HARD FOR YOU TO LOOK AT THE UGLY TRUTH. IT MEANS CHANGES, UNCERTAINTIES, INSECURITY, INSTABILITY….AND STIRS UP A LOT OF EMOTIONS…WHO WANTS THAT, RIGHT?

The shirt pulled tight across my belly…

THE TUMMY AREA SYMBOLIZES INGESTING, DIGESTING IDEAS, KNOWLEDGE, FOOD FOR THOUGHT, HOW YOU STOMACH THINGS EMOTIONALLY…AGAIN, YOU CARRY A ROLL OF EMOTIONS. THIS ALSO REPRESENTS YOUR “GUT LEVEL” YOUR INTUITION. IT APPEARS YOU WONDER IF PAT IS FEELING THE SAME WAY YOU ARE….DOES HE SEE THE MARRIAGE IS IN DANGER? DOES HE SEE AND FEEL WHAT I AM FEELING?

HE IS DRIVING, ULTIMATELY IN CHARGE OF HIS OWN LIFE DIRECTION. AN INVISIBLE STEERING WHEEL DOES NOT INDICATE MUCH MOTIVATION. ITS LIKE DRIVING IN THE DARK WITH NO HEADLIGHTS. THINKS HE HAS THINGS UNDER CONTROL, BUT IN REALITY HE IS HEADING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION WITH NO ROAD MAP OR PLAN OF ACTION….JUST DRIVING.

I had confidence in him in the way he was driving, just surprised at the method he was using, seems kinda dangerous to me.

YOU PUT A LOT OF FAITH IN HIM TO REACH HIS DESTINATION EVEN THOUGH HE IS HEADED IN THE WRONG DIRECTION, MAKES POOR CHOICES AND PUTS YOU AND THE KIDS IN DANGEROUS SITUATIONS.

The outside was extremely cold, windy, snow, barren again. When I did look out of the window I seen a snowshoe Hare stuck on a post along side the high way, someone trapped it and hung it there-like people leave bags of garbage they pick up along the side. I thought to myself-I would use that rabbit instead of it going to waste, and hey…that is a good idea to metal trap them, faster then live trapping them.

YOUR CHOOSING NOT TO CONFRONT THE SITUATION, HANGING ONTO THE RELATIONSHIP AS THOUGH IT MIGHT FIX ITSELF. THIS JUST PROLONGS THE FEELINGS OF BEING TRAPPED. YOU “WASTE” A LOT OF ENERGY TRYING TO FIX A FROZEN, WINDY, BARREN MARRIAGE. YOU TRY TO THINK UP NEW IDEAS THAT WOULD MAKE THINGS EASIER (METAL TRAPPING) BUT YOUR PLANS NEVER REALLY WORK OUT, BECAUSE YOU CAN’T FIX THE PROBLEM WHEN ONLY ONE PERSON IS DOING ALL THE WORK.

SORRY TO BE THE BARRIER OF BAD NEWS. I ONLY INTERPRET WHAT I SEE. PLEASE LEAVE FEEDBACK WHEN YOU CAN.

SINCERELY,
Dr. Kathy

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