Last night I met with another child abuse survivor. She was older than me, 50, but we had a lot in common despite the age difference. It was good to talk with someone who understood what I went through as a child and what I am going through now, as a grown adult survivor. I have so much anger, anxiety, and depression inside me and my whole life I've been afraid of people and I am sick of it. Part of the problem with life is that so many people are in denial. One big step I need to take is to validate my feelings so I can deal with them instead of ignoring them and going numb.
My sister still lives with my parents, and I wish I could get her out of there but I can't. She is smoking and drinking very heavily and it worries me.
Today at work the person training me was not there. I was all alone except for the secretaries and the doctors. It was a bit scary, but I got through it. I felt like I was ready to cry when I left. I challenged myself by not calling in sick and succeeded at getting through the day. Being out of work for almost ten years took a toll on my confidence and my self-esteem. It felt good to succeed at something.