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I've only identified with this poem for 25 years. I can't take much more. I really can't.

Posted Jul 16 2014 12:00am
Not Waving but Drowning
BY  STEVIE SMITH
Nobody heard him, the dead man,   
But still he lay moaning:
I was much further out than you thought   
And not waving but drowning.

Poor chap, he always loved  larking
And now he’s dead It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,    They said.
Oh, no no no, it was too cold always    (Still the dead one lay moaning)    I was much too far out all my life    And not waving but drowning. Stevie Smith, “Not Waving but Drowning” from Collected Poems of Stevie Smith. Copyright © 1972 by Stevie Smith. Reprinted with the permission of New Directions Publishing Corporation.

Source: New Selected Poems (New Directions Publishing Corporation, 1988) I can't pay my rent, I have not got enough money. The electricity got cut off yesterday so had to use rent money to get the electricity turned back on. I can't pay ANY of my bills and am hounded by calls from collection agencies day and night. I am fat and nothing I do to try to lose weight works; I am not cut out for OA. I am taking myself off Clozaril, and I haven't slept in three days. I can't afford food so people have given me food or I have gone to food pantries. There is no money left for gas in the car. I can't pay my phone bill, so the phone will be cut off soon. I can't take much more of this.
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