I hate being overweight. I hate it. I mean I really, truly hate it. I know all about how it's better to be overweight and somewhat sane than skinny and insane. But I hate being overweight. I hate how people look at me; or how they think of me, how they judge me. I hate not being pretty enough to attract anyone to me anymore. I hate that I can have a crush on someone and know that it will never be mutual because I am so fat.
I hate it.
I curse these medications for making me so overweight.. Goddamn them all.
The New Zealander hasn't talked to me in months because he has a girlfriend. I should have known we weren't even real enough friends for him to not ditch me as soon as he found a girlfriend. But I thought we were real friends.
Tonight I went out with a guy I've known for years who I like and I blame my disgustingly fat body for the fact that he doesn't seem interested in being more than friends.
I hate being overweight..
I think I am going to join Weight Watchers. I'm desperate to not be obese anymore.