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ruth

California
I am a Bi Polar survivor of 14 years.  It is controlled fairly well by medication but there are days when even the medications cannot control the dictates of my emotions.  These dictates transform my attitudes into different mood swings from severe depression to mild euphoria.  The bad days are few and far between but the euphoric days are equally fewer than I would like.  Having a understanding companion has made these bad times less painful but makes the good times... Full Bio
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Birthday: April 16
Height: 5’ 6”
Weight: 135 lbs.
 

Bio

I am a Bi Polar survivor of 14 years.  It is controlled fairly well by medication but there are days when even the medications cannot control the dictates of my emotions.  These dictates transform my attitudes into different mood swings from severe depression to mild euphoria.  The bad days are few and far between but the euphoric days are equally fewer than I would like.  Having a understanding companion has made these bad times less painful but makes the good times hard to enjoy when you always feel (in the back of your mind) that those good times may end at any time, riverting back to the control of the bi polar episodes. 

Faith, friends, family and most importantly my fiancee' make most days better than just bearable.  I find the toughest part trying to control being so busy that I eat up gas in the car because I want to keep doing things instead of being in the house.  I also have to deal with impulsive eating, smoking or having to buy things for no real reason just because....This detracts from and disturbs me that I cannot control it like I should. 

 On more positive notes.  I am proud to be a beautiful, middle aged woman who is blessed with good health and god given beauty for my age.  Add that along with a Big Heart, A willingness to help so many less fortunate and give so much more than I take have made me Blessed and Highly Favored.  I am well educated and smart.  I can ace almost any test I am given but due to the Bi Polar and some bad decisions in my life I am doomed to unemployment and total disability.  This is not fair.  I should be well able to display and perform my talent as trained and educated.  Not written off as something less than I am.  I could contribute greatly to most companies and organizations if ever given the opportunity. 

 I would enjoy hearing if you are experiencing similar or the same kinds of issues I face on a day to day basis.  How are you Coping and How do you intend to get better at handling your Bi Polar and the life it has left you to live?