First of all, thank you to those who left me messages about my previous post. I truly appreciate it and your good vibes were helpful. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
There are things I've battled with from the time I was little and dealing with the memories over the decades doesn't make things any easier. On the contrary, sometimes things feel harder and harder to deal with as I get older.
When I feel defeated or like I'm falling into the depths of sadness that lead to depression, I do two things. I pray, and I go to my loved ones for support. Praying helps me forgive. Going to my loved ones helps me survive. My children will never know the details about this battle. I will do everything in my power to make certain of that. But they see me sad sometimes, and I feel horrible that I don't hide it better, but nevertheless they are the sweetest children ever. Just to hear them say, "We love you mommy and we hope you feel better soon," is enough to get me going in the right direction. Thank God for the love of family.
And then there's my husband. God bless him. There's something so special, so blessed, so, so beautiful about somebody knowing every single, deep, dark secret of your past and still embracing you like you're perfect, even though you're not. My husband is the most loving, selfless human being I have ever known and will ever know. He's the perfect one. While he does NOT let me walk all over him, he is completely supportive. He just knows when to call bullshit for what it is, and when things are for real. I wish I was more like him!
Love is the most powerful thing in life. I am convinced.