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The very unfair and very unavoidable laws of fitness

Posted Nov 11 2010 12:00am

There’s only two. But there’s no getting around them despite your best efforts.

Rule Numero Uno: It hurts to get in shape, but to get out of shape…not so much. In fact, one might even call it somewhat comfortable or relaxing even to say maybe lie on the couch and watch tv in the evening munching on a little crunchy salty snack of sorts or to catch yourself just a little bit more sleep in the wee hours of the morning rather than go run (not that I’ve been doing any of those things. I”m just sayin’ ;-) )

But to get in shape, now that’s a whole ‘nother story my friends. As you start down that healthy road to fitness there’s not a muscle in your body that’s going refrain from voicing their dissent. Like it or not, you’re going to feel it. Now, really that’s a good thing. You’re sore. You hurt a little because you did a teensy bit of damage to your muscles and when your body goes to repair that damage it says (in your best Brooklyn accent please) “hey, what’s the deal? You gonna let a little runnin’ mess wit you?” Your body of course, doesn’t appreciate the trash talk and responds by growing stronger.

Nope. There’s no accidentally falling into shape. It doesn’t just happen without your noticing. Whereas on the other hand, falling out of shape…oops. One thing leads to another and suddenly you find yourself looking at photos from the trip to the water park you just took with your family only to stumble across a photo of you from behind in your bathing suit walking with your daughter that should be artistic and heart warming and you’ll audibly say something to the nearest person like “WHOA! Who is that walking with the Little Miss? Wait a minute…is that? NO! That enormous behind can not possibly belong to me…can it? Who put that butt on my body?” At least, I heard that happened to somebody once, somebody who of course was certainly not me (except that it so so was).

Wouldn’t it be nice if the sore muscles would come when your falling out of shape instead? Some sort of painful reminder of the giant a$$ that will immediately follow if you don’t take serious action pronto. Is that really too much to ask? Instead of delayed onset muscle soreness (DOMS), it could be deterrent onset muscle soreness. You know, muscle soreness that starts in order to deter you from NOT exercising. I mean, the letters are all the same so that should count for something right?

And Rule #2: The amount of time it took you to get in shape in no way whatsoever corresponds to the ridiculously fast amount of time you’ll lose it in. This is really so unfair. Much more unfair even than rule #1. So please excuse my wah wah sissy whiney pants for a moment,  but it just seems like the two should be at least somewhat comparable. I mean, seriously. Come on!

You all know I had a break from running about 2 weeks ago right? Well, that kind of sort of wound up into being a break last week too, mostly because of a super jammed packed busy busy week (excuses excuses, I know). So anyway, I get on the treadmill today, after basically 2 weeks off to run 3 miles. Now, it felt pretty good and all, but what shocked me was that I only had the tm on 6mph (10 minute mile pace). Now a month ago, I’d have been warming up faster than that. But no, now, suddenly the tm on 10 min/mile pace feels like there’s an off chance I could go flying off the back of that sucker. REALLY? In just 2 weeks?!

That just does not seem fair. I can basically take 2 years to go from running, oh I don’t know 12-13 minute miles (that being once I could actually  run a mile completely without stopping, of course, following baby #2) to a 5K pace somewhere around 7:30ish min/miles yet in just 2 friggin’ weeks, I’ve lost more than 2 min per mile. Are you kidding me? Now granted, I was not running full out, but still…just…not…fair. And the skinny jeans? Yeah, I’m totally holding my breath to get into them again which is eventually going to wind up being unpleasant for everyone if no corrective action is taken. FIUEHFUAHGEUGF (that’s me being frustrated. I don’t know how to spell the sound I made exactly, but that ought to give you the general idea).

**SIGH** But what are you gonna do? It just is what it is. Sometimes you need a break and you’ve just got to suffer the consequences. (Stupid laws of fitness and their stupid ridiculous consequences. **GRUMBLE GRUMBLE**) I am however, considering starting a petition or maybe a FB fan page against these ridiculously unfair laws of fitness. I’m thinking maybe just maybe, if we get enough people, God will give this all a second thought. I mean, I see he has any number of FB pages and/or profiles so maybe one of us could “friend” Him and then suggest our page to Him. Certainly, that’d get His attention. Right?

In the meantime while I work out the details of my magnificent plan, here’s a few other things I thought y’all might be interested in.

1. Giveaways – There’s two massive holiday giveaways going on right now I wanted to make you all aware of in order to sufficiently reduce my own chances of winning (wait…what?). Road ID’s got like $10,000 worth of goods on the line and 5 Minutes for Mom’s got a ton of kid stuff up for grabs, so don’t miss out. I’ll update my giveaway page with the best of the rest I can find in and around Blogville sometime tomorrow and notify you all via FB when it’s done (not a FB fan? So sorry, you’ll just have to guess then when I do OR go “like” me on FB and you’ll know the minute it happens) and then stay tuned because I’m working on two more of my own giveaways that’ll be up ASAP. (Ok ok…you talked me into it. One of them will be coming from here:


Sporty Girl Jewelry

So if you want a sneak peek, go check out their website. But no way am I telling you what it is I’m giving away just yet or what the other one is. You’ll just have to stick around to find out).

2. Sears Portraits – If you’re looking for a place to get your pictures taken you might want to check out Sears. They’re reasonably priced and I just had some fantastic portraits taken of my girls. And honestly, I have no idea how they managed to do that considering my 4 year   old just kept squinting her eyes every time they said smile and once my 2 year old figured out she could slide down the back drop that’s pretty much all she wanted to do. Somehow though, they managed to get some great shots. I actually bought the disk this time which I never ever do. I can’t promise you the Sears in your  area (if there is one) will do the same terrific job as the one near me, but I can tell you if you sign up online for their email list they are offering tons of discounts right now to get you in the door. Christmas Portrait Tip: Find out when your studio opens and book the first appointment of the day. A lot of photography studios book appts really close together assuming someone won’t show, but if everybody does, they get super behind which translates to you waiting forever, your kids getting antsy, bored and disheveled and that = a super frustrating photo session when your little ones no longer have it in them to cooperate and you are at your wits end having tried to keep the on their best behavior in a waiting room created that is far too small and far too full for an eternity. But if you’re the first ones in the door when they open, problem solved. Trust me I’ve learned this the super miserably sucky way.

3. 31 Gifts – So my cousin, who happens to also be a running mom (and a fairly new runner at that) just started her own home based business direct selling some very chic purses, bags, backpacks, blankets, etc. for 31 Gifts. You know I love a mompreneur, especially one who makes time to run, so I hosted a party for her earlier this week to help her with her business launch and I’ve got to say, she’s got some pretty sweet stuff (particularly I’m diggin’ the thermal totes, but that’s just me). With the holidays right around the corner, I thought maybe one or two of you might be interested in cheating a little on the Christmas shopping like me and knocking some names off your list in the comfort of your own home in your pjs. So here’s a link to her website for you to check out http://www.mythirtyone.com/peterson/ and do a little online shopping should the mood strike.

4. MUST give a major shout out to Deanna, running mom, blogger, and writer, who just tonight found out she’s having her very first running article published. CONGRATULATIONS! She gave me a little hint as to the topic and it’s going to be FABULOUS. Just exactly what us running moms need to hear. So as soon as it’s out, I’ll let you all know. In the meantime, you can learn a little more about her at her blog http://www.theunnaturalmother.com/

And I’ve got one more thing, but since this is way too long already, I’m just going to save it for another day, because on this one, well, let’s just say I believe I’ll have some explaining to do. Besides, I did actually already run today, so I believe I’ve earned a veg night which is quickly and quietly slipping away from me as I type and the pillow begins to call. So…

'Til next time...

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