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the salts of the earth

Posted Dec 13 2012 6:59pm
In the past 21 days, I've ran a total of 5 times.
With a heel that has been hurting since September, it seemed best to induce a self-imposed running hiatus until the pain subsided. 

My speed has temporarily vanished. 
But in all reality, it's really been gone since late March.
My muscles feel soft, squishy, and weak. Sore from toes to nose after day 1 back at it.

My endurance is in the negative.
And my body has forgotten how to run. It's like it's a foreign language.
With 2012 winding down and 2013 lingering just past the horizon, it seemed best to give myself a bit of a break. Things haven't exactly been going my way on the running front this year, which I've pretty much had to come to terms with in order to keep my sanity. All signs begun to point to a bit of downtime after a very painful Saturday evening the first weekend in November when I actually thought there was a bone broken in my foot because I was in so much pain. There was an outrageous amount of swelling and I just couldn't bear weight on the dang thing.
Turns out that taking 2 weeks off of running wasn't so bad.
I made it through by shedding the salt of my wounds through hot yoga and tears, which in my opinion are the two most refreshing ways to cleanse the soul. Sometimes I don't realize how much crap I'm carrying around with me...
lust for Chicago. anger for things that haven't gone my way. annoyance for ignorant people. anxiety for the things to come. selfishness for my wants. guilt for resenting those who would give their life for me.

I never thought not running would put me into a place where I felt vulnerable enough to have gratitude for my less than stellar running year. The moments where I felt angry with how I copped out , had to pull the plug , and even when I realized that I got myself into quite a deep pile of do-do ...I find value in them all. 
There's nothing like a few moments in a 100 degree room with high humidities where sweat is rolling down my brow blurring my vision while bent over in Dabdayanaba Bibhaktapada Janushirasana (standing separate leg head to knee pose) to bring a bit of gratitude to my life. Standing in a pool of your own sweaty filth while silent really slaps your logic and brings to light that things could always have been worse.
So I'm starting fresh with running again. No plans yet other than to just move soft and brisk ahead.
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