(Admin note: this is the follow-up story to the video I posted in my Earth Shoes review. It doesn’t have anything to do with running, but you know how that goes around here. As to the subject matter: I imagine just about everyone has a story about someone who got away; this is mine.)
**
“I can tell you my love for you will still be strong – After the boys of summer have gone.” - The Ataris, “The Boys of Summer” (video after post) - original by Don Henley
In the springtime of my freshman year at college, I had my first ever head-over-heels crush on someone who I felt certain was out of my league. She was a California girl, athletic and pretty and smart, and to my shocked delight, she seemed kind of into me for a while. We had a couple of dates, went to some parties, and ran out the clock on our first year of college together.
At the time, my parents lived three states away, and my plan was to return home to them and my younger sister, to have the entire family together for one last summer. (It turned out to be more true than I could have ever known; within the next year, my parents would separate and later divorce, the whole situation grew horribly spiteful, and the four of us have never peacefully gathered since. But obviously, that didn’t factor into my decision to return home at that point.)
The problem was, my girlfriend was staying on campus, which in my mind spelled doom for our relationship. She’d spend her days at the beach or the campus pool, go to parties with her extensive network of friends, and quickly find someone a lot better than me. Like I said, I felt completely out of my league even dating her - and if I were out of sight for even a few days, I’d quickly be out of her mind as well.
Admittedly, I was acting more than a little bit paranoid … but I knew all this would happen. I knew it.
I reluctantly returned home, and as the weeks went by, all the ominous signs started falling into place: postcards and letters were exchanged less frequently, phone conversations grew shorter and further in between, and our efforts at communication became an increasingly one-way street. By the middle of the summer, we had the dreaded talk that I saw coming from a mile away: she just wasn’t into me anymore. Shortly thereafter, a mutual friend told me that she was seeing someone else, the thought of which gave me chills.
The rejection I felt was absolutely unbearable; my self-esteem plummeted, I moped around all the time, and I felt like an idiot for allowing myself to get so attached to somebody. In other words, I behaved pretty much exactly how you’d expect from someone getting his heart crushed for the first time.
Although it had been released a couple of years earlier, Don Henley’s song was still popular during that summer, and every time I heard it, all I could think about was the girl who dumped me. I could see her in my mind’s eye playing in the sun, having fun with somebody who couldn’t possibly care for her as much as I did. All I wanted was for the school vacation to end, so I could get back to California and somehow try putting our shattered relationship back together.
Not surprisingly, that reconciliation never happened.
However, shortly after returning to campus in the fall, I met a new girl – one just as Californian, but even smarter and prettier and more talented than the one who broke my heart. By the end of the year she was my girlfriend, and by the time we graduated from college we were engaged. More than two decades later, we’re still together, and there’s no question she’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. And if I had still been with the first girl like I thought I wanted, there’s a good chance that none of those things would have happened.
I’m as happy today as I could possibly imagine, and there isn’t a thing I’d change about the way things transpired – and yet, whenever I heard Henley’s song through the years, I’d have an awkward, remorseful flashback to the girl who got away. Fortunately, as most pop songs do, “Boys of Summer” faded more and more with each passing year, to the point where I hardly thought about it – or her - anymore.
Then in 2003, an otherwise cool rock band called The Ataris remade the song, and I started hearing it on the radio all over again. At first, I thought listening to the song would feel like opening an old wound … but I was pleasantly surprised to find that I’m OK with it now. I’m no longer so starry-eyed to think that I could have had a successful relationship with someone who simply wasn’t into me – which I suppose makes me a bit more emotionally mature today than I was as an impetuous 18-year-old college kid.
Granted, it’s not by leaps and bounds … but just enough, I guess.
**
“I thought I knew what love was ... what did I know? Those days are gone forever – I should just let them go.” - The Ataris, “Boys of Summer” (click to play):
**
“I can tell you my love for you will still be strong –
After the boys of summer have gone.”
- The Ataris, “The Boys of Summer” (video after post) - original by Don Henley
In the springtime of my freshman year at college, I had my first ever head-over-heels crush on someone who I felt certain was out of my league. She was a California girl, athletic and pretty and smart, and to my shocked delight, she seemed kind of into me for a while. We had a couple of dates, went to some parties, and ran out the clock on our first year of college together.
At the time, my parents lived three states away, and my plan was to return home to them and my younger sister, to have the entire family together for one last summer. (It turned out to be more true than I could have ever known; within the next year, my parents would separate and later divorce, the whole situation grew horribly spiteful, and the four of us have never peacefully gathered since. But obviously, that didn’t factor into my decision to return home at that point.)
The problem was, my girlfriend was staying on campus, which in my mind spelled doom for our relationship. She’d spend her days at the beach or the campus pool, go to parties with her extensive network of friends, and quickly find someone a lot better than me. Like I said, I felt completely out of my league even dating her - and if I were out of sight for even a few days, I’d quickly be out of her mind as well.
Admittedly, I was acting more than a little bit paranoid … but I knew all this would happen. I knew it.
I reluctantly returned home, and as the weeks went by, all the ominous signs started falling into place: postcards and letters were exchanged less frequently, phone conversations grew shorter and further in between, and our efforts at communication became an increasingly one-way street. By the middle of the summer, we had the dreaded talk that I saw coming from a mile away: she just wasn’t into me anymore. Shortly thereafter, a mutual friend told me that she was seeing someone else, the thought of which gave me chills.
The rejection I felt was absolutely unbearable; my self-esteem plummeted, I moped around all the time, and I felt like an idiot for allowing myself to get so attached to somebody. In other words, I behaved pretty much exactly how you’d expect from someone getting his heart crushed for the first time.
Although it had been released a couple of years earlier, Don Henley’s song was still popular during that summer, and every time I heard it, all I could think about was the girl who dumped me. I could see her in my mind’s eye playing in the sun, having fun with somebody who couldn’t possibly care for her as much as I did. All I wanted was for the school vacation to end, so I could get back to California and somehow try putting our shattered relationship back together.
Not surprisingly, that reconciliation never happened.
However, shortly after returning to campus in the fall, I met a new girl – one just as Californian, but even smarter and prettier and more talented than the one who broke my heart. By the end of the year she was my girlfriend, and by the time we graduated from college we were engaged. More than two decades later, we’re still together, and there’s no question she’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. And if I had still been with the first girl like I thought I wanted, there’s a good chance that none of those things would have happened.
I’m as happy today as I could possibly imagine, and there isn’t a thing I’d change about the way things transpired – and yet, whenever I heard Henley’s song through the years, I’d have an awkward, remorseful flashback to the girl who got away. Fortunately, as most pop songs do, “Boys of Summer” faded more and more with each passing year, to the point where I hardly thought about it – or her - anymore.
Then in 2003, an otherwise cool rock band called The Ataris remade the song, and I started hearing it on the radio all over again. At first, I thought listening to the song would feel like opening an old wound … but I was pleasantly surprised to find that I’m OK with it now. I’m no longer so starry-eyed to think that I could have had a successful relationship with someone who simply wasn’t into me – which I suppose makes me a bit more emotionally mature today than I was as an impetuous 18-year-old college kid.
Granted, it’s not by leaps and bounds … but just enough, I guess.
**
“I thought I knew what love was ... what did I know?
Those days are gone forever – I should just let them go.”
- The Ataris, “Boys of Summer” (click to play):