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Swim Swam Swum

Posted May 12 2013 12:25am

Well, I did it. I finally got back in the pool on Wednesday morning. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen. I could have felt like a drowning cat who can’t swim. I could have fallen in love with the water. Or I could have just gotten in the pool, swam some laps, and got out to carry on with my day.

Nothing remarkable happened in this swim. I’m not sure what I was expecting at all. I guess I wasn’t really expecting anything. When I woke up, I almost decided not to go because I hate that moment where you’re getting into a pool, but I reminded myself that this is something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time, just to see how it felt. I was that kid who was pushed in, had the hose squirted at me, and threatened to get in the pool for practice by my coaches starting at age 6. Every. single. day. And then they wonder why I quit…


When I got to the pool, I realized that my cap had ripped. Unfortunately, it was the cap that was most special to me. After conferences freshman year, we had our last names screenprinted on the side so we could feel more special. Or at least that’s what I tell myself.


I dug around a bit and found another cap and finally had no choice but to hop in. I already knew what I was going to do going in because it’s the same set I always do when I’m on my own.

In swimming language, 2x300SKIPS

In non-swimming language, two times through, 300 each of swim, kick, IM, pull, swim. It’s the perfect amount of each thing to do without getting bored (okay, I get ridiculously bored doing the swim on either end, especially the two back-to-back 300s in the middle) and I was able to mix it up.


The entire thing took me about an hour to finish. I did take a few breaks to talk to one of my teammates who was in the pool aqua jogging while I was on the kicking portions but for the most part, I swam straight through. In the past, I would have been able to easily cover 4000 yards in that time frame.

I probably still could have, but I wasn’t pushing it. I dove in and the first 100 felt like I was gliding through the water. It was amazing and totally unexpected. As I pushed through, I definitely got kind of tired (especially my arms- they’re kind of weak now) but it wasn’t like I felt “out of shape” from swimming. I know it would come back almost immediately if I decided to get back into it.

I’m not sure that’s what I want, though. I don’t know how I’d feel if I was placed back in a team dynamic, or if I was doing intervals or race-simulations. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to say for sure what that would be like because I’m not sure I could intentionally put myself back into that situation.

I do know one thing, though…


Getting back into the pool was a really big step for me and I plan on getting in at least a handful more times before I head home for the year. This summer, I won’t be swimming because a) I don’t like swimming in salt water and b) I have no intention of driving myself to a pool since my only real goal is to not leave the island. And because it isn’t something that I’m “ZOMG burning to do!”

No. I just swam and that’s that. It kind of reassured me that I’m not afraid of the pool. I’m not avoiding the pool. I’m just not attached to it anymore like I once was.

Do you have anything that you feel really detached from? Like it doesn’t phase you either way if you do it or not?

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