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Running in the dark (160.8)

Posted Nov 08 2012 12:00am
I hate it when we fall back.  I go to work, spend all day inside, and when I get home it's already dark.  (I use my SAD light every weekday morning so I can get out of bed in the morning, but it isn't a cure all.)

Yesterday was cloudy & misty & I was in a mood.  Mark's back is terribly painful, and he's struggling through some difficult stuff.  That bleeds over onto me.  It's hard to find joy when your spouse is in such pain, physically & emotionally.

I didn't get to run Tuesday because of Luke's birthday.  So I had to run yesterday, whether I wanted to or not.  I changed into my running clothes before I left work--this is KEY to running if I pick up kids from school before a run.  I got them at 4:30, got home by 4:50, talked to Mark a bit, then sat on the floor to get the rest of my running gear out of my gym bag, and almost cried.  All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and hibernate until spring.

But I was already in my running clothes and I had a training plan to follow. So I put on the rest of my stuff, including a reflective night vest, and hit the road at 5:15.

I didn't walk to warm up.  Just started running at an easy pace.  I have been on a Mumford & Sons kick for the past week.  I love their music and lyrics.  Listening to them while I run is pretty close to perfect.

My heart & lungs are so much stronger than they were a month ago.  I ran almost the entire 3 miles, only walking to take off my extra layer and adjust my vest and for a few brief walk breaks.  My pace averaged 12:12, which isn't fast but it's close to my best this year.  The more important part is that running is easier.  It's not a struggle to run for a full mile.  I just run and run and run, and it feels great. 

I finished my last mile faster than the first two.  When I hit our cul de sac, a triumphant song was playing and I punched the air with my fist and tears ran down my face. 

Running can be very emotional for me.

I'm thankful I made myself move.  I was still very tired after my run, but at least I accomplished something important to me.
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