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Race Report: Gay 5K

Posted Jul 02 2014 5:16pm
Bitch Brigade

It's a good day when all the bitches can get together for a great cause and school some bitches. Even if it felt like we were swimming instead of running. OMG the humidity!

We jogged around for our warm up (hahahahahahah. hahahahahahah. warm up. hahhahahahah), during which for reasons that I will choose to leave out so that I get more sympathy, Jeff SOB hit me so hard up-side the head that I swear to god I was concussed for the rest of the day (it was a joke slap that got away from him). I'm being a tad dramatic. But, it did end up being accidentally harder than he intended. And uh. It was pretty hard. I am a bitch though, so, instead of letting that get me down...  I just decided to that it would be the perfect excuse for my lackluster racing.

None of the bitches are in peak racing shape, so we ended up kind of all running together. We finished one right after the other (I was the last bitch) and it all felt so terribly hard for being around 8:20 pace. SERIOUSLY. It was 8:20 pace and I felt like I was going to have a heart attack and die. WTF? Oh wells.

Bitches were schooled though, as all 6 of us.. bitches and SOBs... placed in our age groups. And we got about a zillion comments on our shirts. Apparently, we have found the right demographic for wearing shirts that says BITCHES all over them. Finally!

Afterwards we attempted to get pictures. But we were all so sweaty and gross that no one really wanted to touch each other.
Bitches be sweaty.
After pictures, we celebrated with some watermelon jello shots. Jealous? And waited around for the award ceremony.
One guy was taking pictures with all the winners one by one...
Me and the dude. Looking stoned and/or concussed.  Cheryl and the dude.
And then Coach Bitch went up for her award and the guy was like... hey, wanna take a picture? and she's all... SURE and pushes the dude aside...
Coach Bitch.Although, take note, he's still smiling for the camera!It was HILARIOUS.
Anyway, it was a fantastic day. Well, except for the running part.... that Suuuuuuuuucked.
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