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"It's such a small world, but I'd hate to paint it all"

Posted Nov 21 2008 4:49pm
Have you ever been 300 miles away from home, in another state, and seen someone you know?

Yeah, me neither.

Have you ever been 300 miles away from home, in another state, gazing at yourself adoringly in a Gap dressing room while you just fell in love with a pair of white gouchos and a brown boho top, and seen that nimrod of a personal trainer getting ready to try on a pair of jeans?

Yeah, me neither...

Oh, wait, yes I did!

Can you believe that? Of all the places in the world we could have stopped to shop...and of all the places that I decided to try on a ton of clothes...and the fact that the timing was just right...as I'm standing there liking everything I see in the mirror and waiting for Troy to get back with a cute coral top to go with my new Ann Taylor skirt (note: he was working with the sales girl...) and I turn around to see someone being escorted in the fitting rooms...and... OMG... IT'S PERSONAL TRAINER BOY. I think my eyes got as big as cantalopes when I realized it was him. And he caught my bulging eyeballs and we both just stood there for a sec wondering what is the proper thing to do at this moment. I could have spouted off with some comment like "shouldn't you be looking for a new job?" And he could have thrown his size 32 x 30's at me and called me a byatch....but that didn't happen. We both just stood there. As I slowly backed into my fitting room waiting for something to happen. [Truth be told, I was waiting for Troy to come back in at the precise moment that trainer boy exited his fitting room. I wanted trainer boy to run into Troy, and at that moment realize that he was the dent boy that told the gym owner all about what happened...and I wanted 2 and 2 to be added together and for him to realize that we knew each other all along....] But, nothing happened.

Troy came back in and I'm jumping up and down like a hungry puppy saying "OMG, you won't believe who is here....and I can't believe this is happening...and it is just so crazy...and you are just not gonna believe it." Troy finally gets me to stop acting like I'm gonna pee in my pants and tell him that it was personal trainer boy...actually, I think I said PERSONAL TRAINER BOY at the top of my lungs. But at any rate, we had a good laugh while we both admired my new ensemble in the mirror (okay, so maybe I was admiring and T was like, "are we done yet?")

At any rate, we leave the fitting rooms and proceed to the register where trainer boy and trainer boy's girlfriend (not trainer girl...geez...that was mean) were lurking around looking at shirts and catching my gaze everytime Troy asked me where they were. We finally check out and as I'm making my way back to my wheelchair (T insisted, and boy am I glad that we got it!) I hear some mumble in the background to see that Trainer Boy is actually talking to me. Not spitting. Not cursing. Not talking about how big my butt is. But actually trying to make conversation...with me...I can't remember what he said but it was something like "What are you doing in the Gap?" And there are so many ways I could have answered that question:

"Getting a colonoscopy"
"Spending $320 on underwear" (that was T's suggestion)
"Nothing, but shouldn't you be looking for a job?"
"Having lunch"
"Contemplating on how right I am on so many levels, like that time that I told you that one person could have an impact on the business, and you told me I was wrong....yeah, that's what I'm doing."

Ahhhh....there were just so many ways...but instead I took the cool route and said "buying too many clothes."

I wanted there to be a moral to this story, so I guess this is it: if you are ever in Gaffney, South Carolina in a Gap fitting room, make sure you only prance around in the outfits that fit appropriately and make you look like a million bucks, because you just never ever know who you are going to run into.

Have a happy 4th of July!
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