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Proud to be me.

Posted Apr 10 2013 12:25am

As promised, I have an update for you on last week’s post about my new “plan”  for today’s WIAW .

First of all, I have never felt so proud of myself for the way I was able to push through this past week. There has been a lot going on for me emotionally, physically, and just mentally in addition to the everyday stress of school and track. In the past this would have prompted a lot of unhealthy habits whether it be restriction or the converse of that but I can honestly say 100% that that did not happen. Screen Shot 2013-04-08 at 11.13.47 AM Moving on. You’re probably wondering what I ate or maybe you don’t care. My plan may have seemed a bit ridiculous to some, living off of processed foods for a week. No. That’s not what I was actually going to do. The focus was on making sure I ate until I was comfortably full and not being afraid of certain things. I am breaking the food rules down.

Let’s start with Breakfast. Last semester I used to claim that I wasn’t a breakfast person and would just eat an apple. No. False. That was my ED speaking even though I’ve been “healthy” for 2 years now. Breakfast was one meal I never really got back into. Then, over Christmas break I met with my nutritionist for the first time in years to come up with some new plans and started eating it. Except I was eating because I felt like I had to and while I have trained myself to feel semi-hungry in the morning (hey, I’m not perfect), I was still restricting with a very small breakfast of kashi waffles plain. This week, I pushed myself just a bit further by buying myself bagels (not a bagel “thin” or any of that crap. A real, honest to goodness bagel) to eat with butter in the mornings. And guess what? I feel comfortable after my meal. Not stuffed, not guilty, not starving. Comfortable. And it tastes pretty good.

Screen Shot 2013-04-09 at 1.43.29 PM

Morning snack- 7-11 sugar free caramel hot chocolate with mini marshmallows when it’s 80 degrees out, totally necessary

Snack 1: According to my old “new” plan, I was eating an apple around 11 in addition to some goldfish or another small snack. This week, I usually did still have that apple, sometimes with a glass of chocolate milk and sometimes I just wasn’t hungry. That’s okay, though. It’s part of the intuitive eating mindset. That hot chocolate I’ve been drinking (at least 3-4 days a week, I might add) is so good. In the past I wouldn’t have let myself have it, or if I did, I would skimp on something else. Not this time around, and I made sure to add an extra pump or six of the caramel sauce to make it extra flavory (not even sure that’s a word, just go with it).


Lunch: This didn’t change all that much. I know I showed you guys the pizza I used to eat everyday but I also know that protein is important for me and I enjoy my chicken sandwiches. This week I would sometimes have a glass of chocolate milk with it if I hadn’t eaten a big snack, or I just added pretzels. This is an area I know I can work on just a bit more but I also felt differently about what I was doing. The other big change I noticed is timing.  I used to push my lunch as late as possible (as in, I wasn’t eating lunch until 3 after skipping breakfast- bad plan) and this semester has been closer to 1:30 but with all of these changes, I am letting myself eat closer to 12:30 if that’s when I’m hungry. Timing has always been a huge thing for me and it’s something I still struggle with on occasion.

Snack 2: I kept this the same. Kashi bar before practice is about all my stomach can handle with speed. Plus, they’re delicious and I pretty much have a lifetime supply of them. Thank you amazon subscription for keeping my belly happy.

kashi Dinner: Like I said, this wasn’t going to change all that much. What I did notice though was that I didn’t find myself ravenous and scarfing down food as quickly as possible. I just ate my dinner and moved on. Sometimes I ate dessert right away, sometimes I waited until later. I didn’t mix up my meals much at all but dinner felt different to me. Like it wasn’t as important as it has been.

Dessert: This is where I noticed the biggest change. Because I had eaten more food during the day, I found myself less hungry at night. When I got home from the library around 11 or 12 most nights, I didn’t eat everything I could find. I had a handful of grapes once, a bag of popcorn another day, but that’s it. On Sunday night, I ate half of my ice cream sandwich. My roommate looked at me with 5 heads and said “did you seriously just not finish your dessert?”. At first I was kind of taken aback by it and immediately felt defensive, like I had done something wrong. But within seconds I realized that I was honoring my fullness. I wasn’t hungry for more than that. Then she said “intuitive. I like it.” because she knows it’s something I’ve been really working on. That subtle change is the single most noticeable event in my eating that occurred and while some may thing I’m crazy by saying eating less isn’t intuitive, it really is. Dessert is something I’ve held onto for a long time because it was the one meal I’d look forward to all day long and if I’m able to let go of that importance by eating more foods during the day so I’m craving less sweets at night, that’s progress. Don’t get me wrong, though. I will not end my day without some form of dessert.

so innapropriate but I couldn't resist

kind of innapropriate but I couldn’t resist

I am proud to say that I have not struggled with any temptations or actual occurrences of binge-like behaviors in a week and a half. This is the longest streak since January when I was still at home on break. I haven’t really talked about it because I’m not proud of it. I’ve hinted at it a few times but I’m sharing it now so you can see the difference small changes can make.

So now that you know what I’ve been eating, you probably want to know how I’m feeling, right (maybe not…)?

-less hungry during the day (duh)

-less irritable (goodbye, hanger, you can thank me later)

-less bloated (obviously, since my calories are being consumed during the day when  actually need them)

-more energized


Have you found that your eating habits make a huge impact on your everyday life?

Thoughts on intuitive eating?

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