I have always tried to instill in my children that if they always do their best to be fair and kind to everyone, show compassion, be honest, try to help those less fortunate, and just follow their hearts--then they have no reason to worry about negative things that some people might say about them. "Don't worry about the kid that say's you suck at sports, or the kid who say's you are just kissing up to the teacher when you behave and do well in class, because these kids are usually just unhappy or have low self-esteem themselves and want YOU to feel bad about yourself."
I've also tried to teach them to be generous, to do something for other people whenever the opportunity arises and to do it out of generosity and not in order to receive praise. Nothing out of the ordinary--just to do what's RIGHT.
I feel like I am ALWAYS saying, "Just be yourself....there are people who aren't always what they appear to be...but try not to judge and ALWAYS try to look for the good in people or situations, but do NOT let people make you doubt yourself or your values."
Good advice? Yes, and I am going to start practicing what I PREACH!
Over the past couple of months, I have spent WAY too much time thinking about some remarks made by someone whom I thought was a friend and letting a lot of self-doubt creep into my head over these comments.
After much soul-searching, I have realized that whatever this person's problem is with my life and my values (or their perception of such) is THEIR problem--not mine!
I don't have the time or patience for unnecessary drama or conflict in my life right now. I KNOW that I am not perfect, and I certainly would never claim to be. I just happen to think that my values are pretty sound. I have foolishly allowed myself to spend a lot of time wondering why this person did not want to just TALK about whatever issues there were and feeling hurt. As much as I don't like conflict, I also can never bear to think that I might have said or done something to hurt someone without knowing. I now I realize that there is nothing that I can do to change the situation. I think I did everything I could and I now need to just forget, forgive, be happy in the knowledge that I always TRY to be an understanding, compassionate and forgiving person and friend.....and just let it GO!
So...what to do with that extra time that I will no longer be using to dwell on what I might have said or done to offend this person who evidently was never really a friend? The possibilities are ENDLESS now that I have decided to allow myself to feel PEACE with myself, my values, and my LIFE!!